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[ Just when he's getting ready to retort with something equally spicy, his lips curving in a grin, they're interrupted and he has to burst out laughing at it. The waitress gives him a curious look, but he waves it off with a grin and sits back to wait for the woman to leave. After a moment the door clicks shut again and he gives Hiyori a rather smug look, eyes lidded just a little. ]

Carried away? Us? Never.

[ He props his elbow on the table and puts his chin in his hand with a smile. ]

Were you planning on doing something "enjoyable" while we were here, huh?

[ He's gonna poke at this a little. See what happens. ]

Nope! Us idols have to be more careful than that. Which means most places are off-limits, really. But hotel rooms are usually an exception.

[If you don't get caught going into one with someone, that is. That's where people's careers take a hit. He sips on his drink, then resumes explaining.]

Even chatting about certain topics in public can be dangerous. But this room is soundproofed, so it should be all good as long as the door is shut... Anyway, sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. I won't be pushing you down here, so don't get your hopes up too much ♪

I can't believe you called me out here to break my heart.

[ Five sticks his tongue out and then takes a drink from the glass he's been provided. ]

And here I was all ready for a steamy encounter.

[ Not really, but he likes making a bit of fun. ]

Hm? But you already had your steamy encounter for the night! That's what the hot spring was for!

[Ha, ha. Cue obnoxious grinning, before he speaks a bit more seriously.]

But if you call that breaking your heart, you must not know how to read between the lines.

[Translation: he just said hotel rooms were safe. And guess where they are right now? An inn where they both have rooms, that's where! But Hiyori isn't interested in spelling things out for him, so he's just going to sip his tea until the servers bring their food.

It happens quickly as promised: the hamburger steak gets set in front of Elan, and the pork belly skewers get set in front of Hiyori. Who has no intention of eating all of them, just for the record. But he will dig into one, he supposes, once the servers have left, chewing for a moment before giving his evaluation.]

Hmm, not too bad. The flavor's good, but they're a tad greasy!

[ To be fair, he can read between the lines just fine. He's just being a pill on purpose - as he tends to be at times. ]

Nothing wrong with some grease. although I guess you have to worry about diet and skin condition and everything, huh? Is that rough or just another part of the job?

[ He's eating little bites for the moment, not trying to pig out or chow down. If they pace themselves they can definitely save some of this for later! ]

I wouldn't call it rough, per se. Skincare is extra important, but I have naturally clear skin and I love shopping for new products, so it's never been a burden for me! As for diet, I'd say I don't have to worry about that too much. Ibara's always bossing us around and telling us to count calories, but I just ignore him! I already burn plenty of calories at dance practice, so there's nothing to fret over.

[He chews another piece of his skewer, washing it down with some tea, before something occurs to him.]

Does that mean you didn't have to worry about either of those things for your job?

[It wouldn't be a shock if he didn't. Most jobs don't require you to worry about skincare. But most jobs also don't require you to wear dangly earrings, either. It sounds like Elan's appearance was at least somewhat relevant to his job, anyway.]

Oh, I did... I had to look a certain way and they took it very seriously.

[ He's dancing on the edge of what he'll reveal here, but he doesn't mind being a little mysterious. ]

In fact, you could say my entire job was about keeping up the right appearance. It made life... very interesting.

The entire job...?

[He seems a tad surprised. After the dangly earrings revelation, it did seem like Elan's appearance mattered more than he thought. But for his entire job to revolve around it? What kind of job might that be, when it clearly wasn't "model" or "actor" or anything along those lines?

He raises the skewer and taps thoughtfully on his chin with the stick end. (This probably looks a bit ridiculous.)]

It's sort of fun trying to piece together the hints. Like a detective solving a mystery!

[He bites back into the skewered meat and chews, finishing off the first skewer. ]

I wonder how many guesses it'd take to get it right? But it's fine if you'd rather not go there, since that job wasn't the good kind of "interesting." It's not like I particularly want to talk about my early career...

[He says the last bit while twirling the straw in his drink. Is this the first mention he's ever made of a career before Eden? Why yes, yes it is.]

You know, I doubt you'll guess, no matter how many hints I give you.

[ It's not really a time of his life he likes to talk about... but he has to admit there's something amusing about watching Hiyori try to figure it out. It's a closely held secret, but... if he were to find out, he doesn't think he'd mind. Not right now, anyway. ]

It isn't exactly the sort of thing most people think about.

[ He takes a bit of his own skewer, his eyes sparkling a little. ]

Oh, so you do have a dark side, huh? Something a little seedy?

[ He's poking fun - but also trying to see what's underneath all of that. It's a fascinating little back and forth, isn't it? ]

Well now that sounds like a challenge!

[He doesn't rise to the challenge just yet, though, pushing the plate more towards the center of the table so Elan can grab a skewer. He meant it when he said he couldn't eat them all himself; he's already had dinner, so he's technically gone over the calorie limit already. But the only one who cares about enforcing that is Ibara, who isn't here right now! Score!]

Who, me? Why, of course not ♪

[A careless, chatty reply. But then more seriously he adds,]

Or at least that's the image I strive for: someone completely pure and pretty, like a flower. But none of us can stay completely pure, I suppose. We all get dirtied in one form or another, just from trying to survive in this harsh world.

[He speaks with a smile, though it looks more thoughtful than useful. Maybe this is him when he's not hamming it up?]

Anyway, I'd rather not talk about it too much, but there was something else before Eden. And things didn't exactly go too smoothly there. We still chased a dazzling dream together, but it wasn't meant to last. And the way things played out at the end was pretty sad...

[He idly twirls that straw again, thinking about Eichi, collapsed backstage. About Nagisa's hand trembling outside the school afterwards. About his own trembling hand.

But he forcibly injects his voice with some cheer before continuing. This is a karaoke room, not a confession booth!]

I knew I couldn't stay there, so I left! That's all there is to it. We parted ways, except me and Nagisa-kun. We're still thick as thieves. Because the two of us would never, ever let go of each other... ♪

[ Well, that's a whole load of words that are... pretty. And he sympathizes with them. Can sense the double meanings and wonders a little about what it is that Hiyori found himself involved in. He leans back in his seat, gaze a little distant as he tries to think about what he's going to do here. What he ought to do. ]

Of course you wouldn't. You seem like the type to hold on to tight to the things you really enjoy.

[ The people he's close to. It's nice to have that, isn't it? ]

I didn't have anyone like that myself. So I guess you have the better of me on that front.

[ There's a little laugh. ]

And now I'm wondering how much I should tell you. You're good at dragging things out of me.

["I didn't have anyone like that myself."

Something flickers on his face. His gaze softens, perhaps. Or maybe his smile thins out just a bit. It's not news, of course, nor is it anything shocking. There are plenty of people struggling alone in the world, with no one to look out for them. Still, he feels a sympathy pang. Which Elan-kun might not like, as Hiyori doesn't sense the desire to be pitied. He just can't help his "noble heart."

But he equally can't help his tendency to look on the bright side.]

There's still time, you know. To make precious memories, meet new friends, and all that good stuff. As long as you're alive, there's hope that things will improve. Even Nagisa-kun and I weren't together from birth, after all.

[There's a story there, about a boy raised in captivity who was briefly left in the care of Hiyori's family. That was really when he started to come into his own, isn't it? Not just Nagisa, but him too; he didn't have any dream to chase to before that strange and wonderful friend appeared in his life and handed one to him.

But he'll hold off on any further preaching about hope and friendship. The words he says are good and true and full of wisdom, but he doesn't much care to be preached to, himself! And he's determined to keep things light, quirking up his lips at the end there. Is Elan in the mood to share? Is now really the time and place for that? Does he just feel obligated, or would it feel like a load off his chest? He isn't sure, so he'll try not to push too hard either way.]

I've heard I have that effect on people! Though I don't like the sound of "dragging it out," since that seems a bit violent. Maybe "coaxing it out?" Though that wasn't my intention, either, really...

[He's rambling. And then abruptly he stops, glancing down at the partially-eaten hamburger before he exclaims,]

And I haven't fed you yet! But now I'm not quite sure the mood is right. Maybe I can do it and then we can play twenty questions? Or maybe we can play twenty questions and then I can feed you! Whichever~♪

I don't think I really want to play twenty questions with it.

[ He picks up a bite of his food and then pops it into his mouth. He's a little distant and thoughtful for the next few moments as he mulls over something in his head. His nose wrinkles. Hmm. ]

Making precious memories... there's something to be said for that. I've been able to make some already thanks to some people I've met, including you.

[ There's a tight little smile. Something a bit more restrained then he tends to hand out. Maybe he's troubled? Or just working through something. ]

Feed me afterward.

[ He leans back in his seat with a frown and folds his hands behind his head. ]

I'll tell you about what I've been up to before all of this, if you really want to know.

[He smiles a little fondly at that, glad to hear that Elan-kun remembers the amusement park and ice cream and hotel and all that. They're making more precious memories right now, even!

Though of course it's no substitute for having someone cherished like Nagisa-kun. Someone who's always with you, in spirit if not in body. He can't say he's prepared to become that person for Elan-kun—not when he's thoroughly devoted to his makeshift family (and his real one, too). And thanks to idol activities, he's usually busy.

But he wants to create more memories and wants to offer his support. It'd be great, he thinks, if he could see Elan truly grow and flourish. If he could become someone happy and self-satisfied. If he could find a dream, perhaps, or at least some goal to work towards. Focus on the future, leave behind the past! That's what Hiyori did, or tried to do. But...

Easier said than done. The past is still recent and it still haunts Elan, maybe even defines him. For all his carefree attitude, that's the impression Hiyori gets. He watches Elan's smile fade, a thoughtful frown replacing it. Something clearly weighs on him, and abruptly he realizes that now isn't the time for flirting or games. Elan feels like telling him.]

... alright.

[A smile, and a small nod of acknowledgment. He sits back in his chair and settles in to listen.]

Go ahead.

It's a little hard to explain.

[ He sounds distant - and his gaze is too, as if he can somehow pluck an explanation fully formed out of the air and save himself the time. Then he sighs. ]

I was selected when I was a little younger. I didn't have anything at the time. No money, no family, not much of a chance - but I was told that I could earn something for myself. That I could make enough money to live as comfortably as I needed. All I had to do was a job. And as it turns out it was a very... different kind of job.

[ His smile is brittle. ]

I became Elan Ceres. Because that isn't my real name. I wasn't born as Elan. I was supposed to be a double for the real one. Someone to go places for him, to fill in, to potentially take a hit if it came down to it. They even changed my face.

[ He waves his hand with another of those laughs as he leans back in his chair. He's affecting a nonchalant attitude, but he fully expects Hiyori to find him something of a freak by now. ]

That's the short version, anyway. I could get into it, but... [ He shrugs. ]

There's a lot that would need even more explaining.

[He waits for Elan to begin, giving him all the time he needs. Which, as it turns out, isn't that much time. The story starts out sounding typical—it sounds like Elan-kun got an offer from the kind of snake oil salesman who'd put Ibara to shame. He just wanted to make some money, but the job was shady or unpleasant or both. But as for the nature of that job...

He blinks. Then blinks again, his brow furrowing at everything from the first sentence onwards. A double? As in... a body double? And not just that, but they "changed in face"? How? With make-up, or with surgery?

He's just stupefied. His thoughts actually had been straying in a similar direction, wondering if Elan-kun was involved with some sort of politics or espionage. But he hadn't expected it to go this far. Later he'll receive another revelation about a surgically-altered body double, but we haven't reached that point in the timeline yet, so for now, he's shocked! And it shows in his widened eyes, the gentle smile wiped clean off his face.

How does he respond? There's so much to unpack in that short explanation; where should he even begin? And how does he look at Elan, now that he knows what sort of burden he's been shouldering? It's just a lot to absorb, more than he can comprehend.

But in the end, he starts small.]

So... you mean to say Elan-kun wasn't your real name? I've actually been calling you by someone else's name?

[Yep. That's the part he chooses to fixate on!]

[ Well, that's... partially the response he was expecting but not quite what he thought he might get either. He regards Hiyori for a long moment, his own brow furrowing as he tries to sort through the response he's just gotten and then bursts out laughing. ]

That's your concern?

[ He puts his chin in his hand with a sigh and waves his hand. ]

No. It's my real name, but no one has used my real name in so long that it might as well be mine. I was also called Five.

[ He's curious if Hiyori will pick up the implication. ]

[Of course that's not the most concerning part in all this. It's not unheard of for CosPro idols to use stage names; Hiyori doesn't know the real name of everyone he's worked with. Still, to assume someone else's name is a different matter altogether, isn't it?

Though perhaps not as big a deal as assuming their whole identity. That's an ordeal he can't even begin to comprehend.

It's somewhat of a relief to hear Elan-kun laugh (or... whatever his real name is). Yet Hiyori can't relax. That last bit of information comes as a surprise, his eyes flaring wide again. Then he wrinkles his nose.]

That just makes it sound like you're a horse being bet on.

[He shakes his head to himself, finding the whole thing distasteful. It's only now starting to dawn on him just how awful "Elan's" treatment really was. It's one thing to be overworked, or made to do hard labor; one thing to be given dull work and treated as a corporate drone. But to have your very existence denied? That goes beyond the pale.]

And it makes me wonder who "One" through "Four" went to. There aren't five other people who look just like you running around out there, are there?

["Elan-kun," four other doubles, and the high-ranking figure whose identity they assumed. There's no way some conglomerate would go to that much trouble... right? Even Eichi's family wouldn't devise a hairbrained scheme like that.

... at least as far as he knows.]

Maybe I was. As far as I know I'm the only one still out here, but...

[ He shrugs. ]

I didn't really have the privilege of knowing that kind of thing. I wasn't someone who got to know; I just did what I had to do to get by.

[ He's... being a bit blase about it, but it does still leave a mark. His whole identity has basically been wiped away and now he's picking up the pieces. It's not easy, but he doesn't like to mope about it. He tries to float - to just move. Even if he resents some of his lot in life. ]

You can still call me Elan. I don't mind it at this point.

[ And the writers didn't give him a "real" name. ]

The only one still...?

[He trails off abruptly, disturbed by the implications. Does it do any good to ask? It sounds as though Elan might not know, anyway.

There are lots of questions swimming around in his head. About what kind of person "Elan Ceres" was, for starters; Elan-kun must know that better than anyone, surely. It's hard to imagine someone so important that he'd require five people to sacrifice their lives. But then, he's not naive about what money and status can bring a person. If you're a high-ranking official or the scion to a wealthy family, you can get away with all sorts of things. Commoners are worth the dirt beneath your shoes, and people will look the other way if you mistreat those ranked below you. Those are the facts of life, and he himself has reaped the benefits, but...

A sick feeling roils around in the pit of his stomach as he thinks about it now.

A moment of silence, his face contemplative, and perhaps a tad bitter. Though in the end—as always—he manages to smile.]

... well, you caught me. I certainly wouldn't have guessed that. Though I was starting to wonder if you were involved in some sort of espionage. Slipping into exclusive gatherings, blending with the crowd, and eavesdropping on important officials. Like you'd see in a crime thriller or a spy movie ♪

[His smile is sad. That sort of job can't be easy, but it still would've been far preferable, wouldn't it?]

[ The fact that he's able to smile after all that is kind of amazing to Elan. He figures there'd be more outrage or surprise or something - but Hiyori's seemed to have an ability to just press on through and maintain that sunny optimism. Funny how that works. ]

Mmm. I did have to report back to people, but it wasn't quite the same thing. And definitely not as exciting as a spy thriller. Or maybe it's just not that exciting when you're living it and not just watching it on the big screen.

[ He offers a slightly bitter smile. ]

Sorry, guess I brought the mood down. But that's been my life - but now I have my self and my freedom, so that's something.

[Of course what happened to "Elan" was an outrage. But why take that out on him? That would only sour their karaoke date further. Though if it would feel good to have someone yell and make a fuss on his behalf, perhaps Hiyori can muster a tantrum or two.

For now, he takes the usual approach of trying to brighten up the mood. But that doesn't mean "Elan" is at fault for darkening it in the first place. Much as Hiyori tries, he knows it's impossible to avoid encountering ugly things in life.]

You don't need to apologize. There's someone who does need to apologize—actually, it sounds like there are several someones—but you're not at fault.

[Then he mutters,]

Though an apology might not cut it...

[Stripping five people's individuality away, and possibly even taking their lives? That's a crime that can't be easily atoned for. If Hiyori ever met the people responsible, he'd want more than just an apology.

But that's neither here nor there. Enough gloom!!! Focus on the positive!!! And he does manage to brighten up as he chimes in with the following:]

Something? I'd say that's everything. You can reach for whatever you please now—a new look, a new name, anything! But for now, I suppose we can just eat meat and sing our hearts out.

... that's not such a bad place to start, is it?

...I guess not.

[ He has to laugh. What else can he do? And it isn't as if Hiyori is wrong. He has new opportunities. A new life. He can try to find some meaning in that. He can make something for himself. ]

It's tasty, at least.

[ He pops a bit of food into his mouth, looking a little thoughtful. What else can he do? What else is there? He's... well. Is he happy? Maybe. He thinks he is. Or he's on his way there, anyway. Hiyori is around and-

Hiyori does make him happy, he has to admit. As strange as he can be sometimes, he makes Elan feel like he belongs. It's so effortless. ]

Maybe I can fall into your arms and you make me feel better about my tragic past. [ He sticks his tongue out again. ]

Or something like that. I'm just making things up now.

[Well, he might as well follow his own advice. He picks up another skewer, chewing on the food daintily (or as daintily as one can chew on fatty meat). Elan has also given him a lot to chew on metaphorically, of course. For starters, is it really alright to keep calling him "Elan-kun" when that name was something forced upon him...? He did say he didn't mind, but something about it doesn't sit right.

He's just not sure how to act. This whole thing has been terribly complicated. Elan's past seems like a great big dark abyss; the more time he spends digging around in there, the more likely he is to get swallowed up...

But as he's thinking that, Elan breaks the silence that's settled over them with a flirty (?) line. Hiyori blinks at him for a moment, before his lips curve into a wry smile. Right, of course—tragic past or no, "Elan-kun" is still "Elan-kun," and that includes a hefty dose of sarcasm.]

Already done "singing our hearts out," huh? You want to head straight to your room?

[His voice takes on a teasing lilt.]

Well, I already got to hear your singing voice, so I suppose we could do that. I'll hold you nice and tight inside my arms, and you can cry all you want. Unless that's not the sort of comfort you're looking for...

Some peace and quiet wouldn't be bad. And I'm definitely not going to be crying about my tragic past...

[ He gives Hiyori an amused look. ]

If you want to keep me company, I wouldn't object.

[ Which is... not exactly an invitation but it's not not an invitation, either. It's a little weird for him. He's been intimate with Hiyori. He thinks of him as... what? A friend, sort of? Someone he can get along with? A lover? That feels too intimate and yet- ]

I wouldn't want to leave you all disappointed and worrying about me for the rest of the night.

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sorry for being slow lately

no worries, i know the feeling.