[He seems a tad surprised. After the dangly earrings revelation, it did seem like Elan's appearance mattered more than he thought. But for his entire job to revolve around it? What kind of job might that be, when it clearly wasn't "model" or "actor" or anything along those lines?
He raises the skewer and taps thoughtfully on his chin with the stick end. (This probably looks a bit ridiculous.)]
It's sort of fun trying to piece together the hints. Like a detective solving a mystery!
[He bites back into the skewered meat and chews, finishing off the first skewer. ]
I wonder how many guesses it'd take to get it right? But it's fine if you'd rather not go there, since that job wasn't the good kind of "interesting." It's not like I particularly want to talk about my early career...
[He says the last bit while twirling the straw in his drink. Is this the first mention he's ever made of a career before Eden? Why yes, yes it is.]
You know, I doubt you'll guess, no matter how many hints I give you.
[ It's not really a time of his life he likes to talk about... but he has to admit there's something amusing about watching Hiyori try to figure it out. It's a closely held secret, but... if he were to find out, he doesn't think he'd mind. Not right now, anyway. ]
It isn't exactly the sort of thing most people think about.
[ He takes a bit of his own skewer, his eyes sparkling a little. ]
Oh, so you do have a dark side, huh? Something a little seedy?
[ He's poking fun - but also trying to see what's underneath all of that. It's a fascinating little back and forth, isn't it? ]
[He doesn't rise to the challenge just yet, though, pushing the plate more towards the center of the table so Elan can grab a skewer. He meant it when he said he couldn't eat them all himself; he's already had dinner, so he's technically gone over the calorie limit already. But the only one who cares about enforcing that is Ibara, who isn't here right now! Score!]
Who, me? Why, of course not ♪
[A careless, chatty reply. But then more seriously he adds,]
Or at least that's the image I strive for: someone completely pure and pretty, like a flower. But none of us can stay completely pure, I suppose. We all get dirtied in one form or another, just from trying to survive in this harsh world.
[He speaks with a smile, though it looks more thoughtful than useful. Maybe this is him when he's not hamming it up?]
Anyway, I'd rather not talk about it too much, but there was something else before Eden. And things didn't exactly go too smoothly there. We still chased a dazzling dream together, but it wasn't meant to last. And the way things played out at the end was pretty sad...
[He idly twirls that straw again, thinking about Eichi, collapsed backstage. About Nagisa's hand trembling outside the school afterwards. About his own trembling hand.
But he forcibly injects his voice with some cheer before continuing. This is a karaoke room, not a confession booth!]
I knew I couldn't stay there, so I left! That's all there is to it. We parted ways, except me and Nagisa-kun. We're still thick as thieves. Because the two of us would never, ever let go of each other... ♪
[ Well, that's a whole load of words that are... pretty. And he sympathizes with them. Can sense the double meanings and wonders a little about what it is that Hiyori found himself involved in. He leans back in his seat, gaze a little distant as he tries to think about what he's going to do here. What he ought to do. ]
Of course you wouldn't. You seem like the type to hold on to tight to the things you really enjoy.
[ The people he's close to. It's nice to have that, isn't it? ]
I didn't have anyone like that myself. So I guess you have the better of me on that front.
[ There's a little laugh. ]
And now I'm wondering how much I should tell you. You're good at dragging things out of me.
Something flickers on his face. His gaze softens, perhaps. Or maybe his smile thins out just a bit. It's not news, of course, nor is it anything shocking. There are plenty of people struggling alone in the world, with no one to look out for them. Still, he feels a sympathy pang. Which Elan-kun might not like, as Hiyori doesn't sense the desire to be pitied. He just can't help his "noble heart."
But he equally can't help his tendency to look on the bright side.]
There's still time, you know. To make precious memories, meet new friends, and all that good stuff. As long as you're alive, there's hope that things will improve. Even Nagisa-kun and I weren't together from birth, after all.
[There's a story there, about a boy raised in captivity who was briefly left in the care of Hiyori's family. That was really when he started to come into his own, isn't it? Not just Nagisa, but him too; he didn't have any dream to chase to before that strange and wonderful friend appeared in his life and handed one to him.
But he'll hold off on any further preaching about hope and friendship. The words he says are good and true and full of wisdom, but he doesn't much care to be preached to, himself! And he's determined to keep things light, quirking up his lips at the end there. Is Elan in the mood to share? Is now really the time and place for that? Does he just feel obligated, or would it feel like a load off his chest? He isn't sure, so he'll try not to push too hard either way.]
I've heard I have that effect on people! Though I don't like the sound of "dragging it out," since that seems a bit violent. Maybe "coaxing it out?" Though that wasn't my intention, either, really...
[He's rambling. And then abruptly he stops, glancing down at the partially-eaten hamburger before he exclaims,]
And I haven't fed you yet! But now I'm not quite sure the mood is right. Maybe I can do it and then we can play twenty questions? Or maybe we can play twenty questions and then I can feed you! Whichever~♪
I don't think I really want to play twenty questions with it.
[ He picks up a bite of his food and then pops it into his mouth. He's a little distant and thoughtful for the next few moments as he mulls over something in his head. His nose wrinkles. Hmm. ]
Making precious memories... there's something to be said for that. I've been able to make some already thanks to some people I've met, including you.
[ There's a tight little smile. Something a bit more restrained then he tends to hand out. Maybe he's troubled? Or just working through something. ]
Feed me afterward.
[ He leans back in his seat with a frown and folds his hands behind his head. ]
I'll tell you about what I've been up to before all of this, if you really want to know.
[He smiles a little fondly at that, glad to hear that Elan-kun remembers the amusement park and ice cream and hotel and all that. They're making more precious memories right now, even!
Though of course it's no substitute for having someone cherished like Nagisa-kun. Someone who's always with you, in spirit if not in body. He can't say he's prepared to become that person for Elan-kun—not when he's thoroughly devoted to his makeshift family (and his real one, too). And thanks to idol activities, he's usually busy.
But he wants to create more memories and wants to offer his support. It'd be great, he thinks, if he could see Elan truly grow and flourish. If he could become someone happy and self-satisfied. If he could find a dream, perhaps, or at least some goal to work towards. Focus on the future, leave behind the past! That's what Hiyori did, or tried to do. But...
Easier said than done. The past is still recent and it still haunts Elan, maybe even defines him. For all his carefree attitude, that's the impression Hiyori gets. He watches Elan's smile fade, a thoughtful frown replacing it. Something clearly weighs on him, and abruptly he realizes that now isn't the time for flirting or games. Elan feels like telling him.]
... alright.
[A smile, and a small nod of acknowledgment. He sits back in his chair and settles in to listen.]
[ He sounds distant - and his gaze is too, as if he can somehow pluck an explanation fully formed out of the air and save himself the time. Then he sighs. ]
I was selected when I was a little younger. I didn't have anything at the time. No money, no family, not much of a chance - but I was told that I could earn something for myself. That I could make enough money to live as comfortably as I needed. All I had to do was a job. And as it turns out it was a very... different kind of job.
[ His smile is brittle. ]
I became Elan Ceres. Because that isn't my real name. I wasn't born as Elan. I was supposed to be a double for the real one. Someone to go places for him, to fill in, to potentially take a hit if it came down to it. They even changed my face.
[ He waves his hand with another of those laughs as he leans back in his chair. He's affecting a nonchalant attitude, but he fully expects Hiyori to find him something of a freak by now. ]
That's the short version, anyway. I could get into it, but... [ He shrugs. ]
There's a lot that would need even more explaining.
[He waits for Elan to begin, giving him all the time he needs. Which, as it turns out, isn't that much time. The story starts out sounding typical—it sounds like Elan-kun got an offer from the kind of snake oil salesman who'd put Ibara to shame. He just wanted to make some money, but the job was shady or unpleasant or both. But as for the nature of that job...
He blinks. Then blinks again, his brow furrowing at everything from the first sentence onwards. A double? As in... a body double? And not just that, but they "changed in face"? How? With make-up, or with surgery?
He's just stupefied. His thoughts actually had been straying in a similar direction, wondering if Elan-kun was involved with some sort of politics or espionage. But he hadn't expected it to go this far. Later he'll receive another revelation about a surgically-altered body double, but we haven't reached that point in the timeline yet, so for now, he's shocked! And it shows in his widened eyes, the gentle smile wiped clean off his face.
How does he respond? There's so much to unpack in that short explanation; where should he even begin? And how does he look at Elan, now that he knows what sort of burden he's been shouldering? It's just a lot to absorb, more than he can comprehend.
But in the end, he starts small.]
So... you mean to say Elan-kun wasn't your real name? I've actually been calling you by someone else's name?
[ Well, that's... partially the response he was expecting but not quite what he thought he might get either. He regards Hiyori for a long moment, his own brow furrowing as he tries to sort through the response he's just gotten and then bursts out laughing. ]
That's your concern?
[ He puts his chin in his hand with a sigh and waves his hand. ]
No. It's my real name, but no one has used my real name in so long that it might as well be mine. I was also called Five.
[ He's curious if Hiyori will pick up the implication. ]
[Of course that's not the most concerning part in all this. It's not unheard of for CosPro idols to use stage names; Hiyori doesn't know the real name of everyone he's worked with. Still, to assume someone else's name is a different matter altogether, isn't it?
Though perhaps not as big a deal as assuming their whole identity. That's an ordeal he can't even begin to comprehend.
It's somewhat of a relief to hear Elan-kun laugh (or... whatever his real name is). Yet Hiyori can't relax. That last bit of information comes as a surprise, his eyes flaring wide again. Then he wrinkles his nose.]
That just makes it sound like you're a horse being bet on.
[He shakes his head to himself, finding the whole thing distasteful. It's only now starting to dawn on him just how awful "Elan's" treatment really was. It's one thing to be overworked, or made to do hard labor; one thing to be given dull work and treated as a corporate drone. But to have your very existence denied? That goes beyond the pale.]
And it makes me wonder who "One" through "Four" went to. There aren't five other people who look just like you running around out there, are there?
["Elan-kun," four other doubles, and the high-ranking figure whose identity they assumed. There's no way some conglomerate would go to that much trouble... right? Even Eichi's family wouldn't devise a hairbrained scheme like that.
Maybe I was. As far as I know I'm the only one still out here, but...
[ He shrugs. ]
I didn't really have the privilege of knowing that kind of thing. I wasn't someone who got to know; I just did what I had to do to get by.
[ He's... being a bit blase about it, but it does still leave a mark. His whole identity has basically been wiped away and now he's picking up the pieces. It's not easy, but he doesn't like to mope about it. He tries to float - to just move. Even if he resents some of his lot in life. ]
You can still call me Elan. I don't mind it at this point.
[ And the writers didn't give him a "real" name. ]
[He trails off abruptly, disturbed by the implications. Does it do any good to ask? It sounds as though Elan might not know, anyway.
There are lots of questions swimming around in his head. About what kind of person "Elan Ceres" was, for starters; Elan-kun must know that better than anyone, surely. It's hard to imagine someone so important that he'd require five people to sacrifice their lives. But then, he's not naive about what money and status can bring a person. If you're a high-ranking official or the scion to a wealthy family, you can get away with all sorts of things. Commoners are worth the dirt beneath your shoes, and people will look the other way if you mistreat those ranked below you. Those are the facts of life, and he himself has reaped the benefits, but...
A sick feeling roils around in the pit of his stomach as he thinks about it now.
A moment of silence, his face contemplative, and perhaps a tad bitter. Though in the end—as always—he manages to smile.]
... well, you caught me. I certainly wouldn't have guessed that. Though I was starting to wonder if you were involved in some sort of espionage. Slipping into exclusive gatherings, blending with the crowd, and eavesdropping on important officials. Like you'd see in a crime thriller or a spy movie ♪
[His smile is sad. That sort of job can't be easy, but it still would've been far preferable, wouldn't it?]
[ The fact that he's able to smile after all that is kind of amazing to Elan. He figures there'd be more outrage or surprise or something - but Hiyori's seemed to have an ability to just press on through and maintain that sunny optimism. Funny how that works. ]
Mmm. I did have to report back to people, but it wasn't quite the same thing. And definitely not as exciting as a spy thriller. Or maybe it's just not that exciting when you're living it and not just watching it on the big screen.
[ He offers a slightly bitter smile. ]
Sorry, guess I brought the mood down. But that's been my life - but now I have my self and my freedom, so that's something.
[Of course what happened to "Elan" was an outrage. But why take that out on him? That would only sour their karaoke date further. Though if it would feel good to have someone yell and make a fuss on his behalf, perhaps Hiyori can muster a tantrum or two.
For now, he takes the usual approach of trying to brighten up the mood. But that doesn't mean "Elan" is at fault for darkening it in the first place. Much as Hiyori tries, he knows it's impossible to avoid encountering ugly things in life.]
You don't need to apologize. There's someone who does need to apologize—actually, it sounds like there are several someones—but you're not at fault.
[Then he mutters,]
Though an apology might not cut it...
[Stripping five people's individuality away, and possibly even taking their lives? That's a crime that can't be easily atoned for. If Hiyori ever met the people responsible, he'd want more than just an apology.
But that's neither here nor there. Enough gloom!!! Focus on the positive!!! And he does manage to brighten up as he chimes in with the following:]
Something? I'd say that's everything. You can reach for whatever you please now—a new look, a new name, anything! But for now, I suppose we can just eat meat and sing our hearts out.
[ He has to laugh. What else can he do? And it isn't as if Hiyori is wrong. He has new opportunities. A new life. He can try to find some meaning in that. He can make something for himself. ]
It's tasty, at least.
[ He pops a bit of food into his mouth, looking a little thoughtful. What else can he do? What else is there? He's... well. Is he happy? Maybe. He thinks he is. Or he's on his way there, anyway. Hiyori is around and-
Hiyori does make him happy, he has to admit. As strange as he can be sometimes, he makes Elan feel like he belongs. It's so effortless. ]
Maybe I can fall into your arms and you make me feel better about my tragic past. [ He sticks his tongue out again. ]
Or something like that. I'm just making things up now.
[Well, he might as well follow his own advice. He picks up another skewer, chewing on the food daintily (or as daintily as one can chew on fatty meat). Elan has also given him a lot to chew on metaphorically, of course. For starters, is it really alright to keep calling him "Elan-kun" when that name was something forced upon him...? He did say he didn't mind, but something about it doesn't sit right.
He's just not sure how to act. This whole thing has been terribly complicated. Elan's past seems like a great big dark abyss; the more time he spends digging around in there, the more likely he is to get swallowed up...
But as he's thinking that, Elan breaks the silence that's settled over them with a flirty (?) line. Hiyori blinks at him for a moment, before his lips curve into a wry smile. Right, of course—tragic past or no, "Elan-kun" is still "Elan-kun," and that includes a hefty dose of sarcasm.]
Already done "singing our hearts out," huh? You want to head straight to your room?
[His voice takes on a teasing lilt.]
Well, I already got to hear your singing voice, so I suppose we could do that. I'll hold you nice and tight inside my arms, and you can cry all you want. Unless that's not the sort of comfort you're looking for...
Some peace and quiet wouldn't be bad. And I'm definitely not going to be crying about my tragic past...
[ He gives Hiyori an amused look. ]
If you want to keep me company, I wouldn't object.
[ Which is... not exactly an invitation but it's not not an invitation, either. It's a little weird for him. He's been intimate with Hiyori. He thinks of him as... what? A friend, sort of? Someone he can get along with? A lover? That feels too intimate and yet- ]
I wouldn't want to leave you all disappointed and worrying about me for the rest of the night.
That's fine, I suppose. Just about everyone looks lovelier with a smile on their face.
[Assuming their smile doesn't look villainous like a certain someone's...
He sips his tea again, wondering idly to himself if Elan ever cried from the unfairness of it all. It sounds like there was no one else to cry on his behalf, anyway. And that's just awfully sad to contemplate.
The "invitation," however, pushes such thoughts from his mind. He observes his tablemate with an amused smile to match the one on Five's own face. There's no reason to doubt Elan's sincerity—they've already been together once. If anything, he might be holding back some of his enthusiasm... right? Saying "if you want," saying "I wouldn't want to disappoint you," when Hiyori doubts he'd be the only one disappointed.]
Well, if you did reject me, I would start to wonder if your eyes were working properly... so that might be a bit worrying?
[He smirks.]
Sure, why not ♪ I can't give you all night, but I can promise to make the most of our time together.
Well... even if it isn't all night, you'll cheer me up anyway. And it'll keep my mind off of that depressing topic we were just talking about.
[ Which he's still a bit blase about, all things considered. Maybe he's just had time to get used to it. Or maybe he's compartmentalized it. Hard to say, really. ]
And I don't want anyone crying about me, anyway. Not with real tears, anyway. That's just depressing.
[ He picks up a bit of skewer and pops it into his mouth. ]
[All night isn't doable when the three other members of his unit are still at the hotel (plus a couple of other CosPro staff). They'll definitely notice if he never returns to his room. Stopping by the room of a male acquaintance just to chat, however, shouldn't seem too fishy. They'll just have to keep it subtle! That's all.
He's back to work on his second skewer when Elan drops that line about "crying for him," causing Hiyori's brows to jump. Can Elan-kun read minds?? That was an awfully uncanny coincidence just now! Though, if he doesn't want anyone crying for him, well, that's fine. After recovering from his surprise, Hiyori says as much.]
Mm, that's true.
[He hums his assent.]
I don't like crying, either. It makes my eyes all red and puffy, and I'd much rather look my best. I just wanted to let you know you could cry if you wanted, that's all.
[But as he said before, he'd rather see Elan smile.
He finishes chewing the rest of his meat in silence, takes another few sips of tea, and dabs at his mouth with the napkin. That's all he planned to eat, and since Elan-kun's still going, he decides to make a suggestion.]
Want to hear one more song? It'd give you something to pleasant to listen to besides just chewing sounds.
...I don't like crying. And after spending so many years having to keep tears out of my eyes, I don't know if I particularly want to start doing it all over again.
[ OK, last reference to his depressing past, he promises. He pops another bite in his mouth, looking a bit distant - and then blinks at Hiyori. ]
If you'd like to give one to me, go for it. How can I complain about a personal show? I doubt anyone else gets front row seats with you like this.
[Now there's a bit of honesty he hadn't expected. Spending years trying to keep tears out of his eyes, huh...? Now that's a somber thought.
Songs, however, are a great way to spread cheer. It's just impossible to stay gloomy when there's a fun song being sung. And music could be considered the universal language, making songs the best way to touch people's hearts. To that end, he gets up from his seat, answering Elan's comment in affirmative.]
That's right ♪ It's a special perk just for Elan-kun. Aren't you blessed today?
[He goes up to the song selector again, scrolling through the selection. He didn't have anything in mind this time, so it's going to take a minute. He could just sing another one of his other songs, but maybe he'll see if there's anything else that strikes his fancy...?
Actually, maybe he'll see what's popular. He hits the list of most-played songs, finding a mix of classics and oldies, foreign songs, and pop music, including idol songs. There's a surprising amount of Knights in there (well, they are one of the big three, he supposes). And Eden's most recent track also made it to the bottom of the list, something that makes him smile. He'll have to tell Jun-kun. He's not really in the mood to sing Exceed, though, just because he's already showed it to Elan once, so let's see here...
Well, there's always the "randomize" option. If he doesn't like what it picks, he can just ignore the suggestion! So, he clicks on that, waiting to see which popular song it'll choose... and it looks like the song is D*sney. Which isn't too surprising, given the popularity of those movies. Can he handle this one, though?
Trick question. Of course he can, he's Hiyori Tomoe, the dazzling idol who can take on any role! He grabs the mic and addresses Elan with a smile.]
Looks like I'll be your princess for this next song. Prepare to be amazed...♪
[ Ok, he's a little sarcastic, but there's a bit of appreciation there. He settles in his seat and he watches as Hiyori filters through the song selector. Again, music isn't his strong suit - but he's still interested in what Hiyori decides to pick. After all... it tells hims something more about him. Which he's finding he enjoys, a bit to his chagrin. He taps his foot on the fllor as he waits, watching and waiting. ]
You're something else...
[ And then he laughs. ]
From the way you've treated me, I thought I was the princess. Was I wrong about that?
[ He's joking about a few different aspects of their relationship, such as it is. ]
But I'll wait with bated breath. And hold my applause until the end.
[He smirks. It's not lost on him that he's taken the "man's" role in some of their interactions, if only in the sense that he pays for stuff due to his wealth. That's fine, he can play any role to perfection!]
This'll just be for one song, and everything will return to normal between us afterwards. But for now, here's this ♪
[And here the song starts, this particular version opening on some light guitar. Hiyori holds the mic to his chest, a soft smile on his lips, doing his best to channel his inner Disney princess. And then he sings.
Look at this stuff, isn't it neat, wouldn't you think my collection's complete? That's right, it's that song! One of the ones that anyone with any familiarity with D*sney should know, though Hiyori isn't sure if Elan falls under that category. He's heard the song before himself, but never actually sung it, so he needs to look at the lyrics as he sings. He's also not an especially huge fan of the song, or anything. So why'd he accept the machine's suggestion instead of tossing it back to the sea? Well, three reasons!
1. He wanted to try something new for a change! 2. He was mistaken for a mermaid princess by a child at the beach once, so it seemed somewhat fitting. (Long story.) 3. Elan's been talking about how he wanted to live, so this song about longing to explore more of the world and walk on land as a human seemed fitting for those reasons, too.
All of that is why. And it's why he'll sing his heart out!]
♫♪♫♪~
[It's not a very practiced solo, but he sings with a steadily building passion, trying to convey the princess's longing through his face and his voice. He even reaches his arms into the air as though reaching towards the surface of the sea. But he finishes with the microphone held to his chest again, quelling his sense of longing at the end.]
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no subject
[He seems a tad surprised. After the dangly earrings revelation, it did seem like Elan's appearance mattered more than he thought. But for his entire job to revolve around it? What kind of job might that be, when it clearly wasn't "model" or "actor" or anything along those lines?
He raises the skewer and taps thoughtfully on his chin with the stick end. (This probably looks a bit ridiculous.)]
It's sort of fun trying to piece together the hints. Like a detective solving a mystery!
[He bites back into the skewered meat and chews, finishing off the first skewer. ]
I wonder how many guesses it'd take to get it right? But it's fine if you'd rather not go there, since that job wasn't the good kind of "interesting." It's not like I particularly want to talk about my early career...
[He says the last bit while twirling the straw in his drink. Is this the first mention he's ever made of a career before Eden? Why yes, yes it is.]
no subject
[ It's not really a time of his life he likes to talk about... but he has to admit there's something amusing about watching Hiyori try to figure it out. It's a closely held secret, but... if he were to find out, he doesn't think he'd mind. Not right now, anyway. ]
It isn't exactly the sort of thing most people think about.
[ He takes a bit of his own skewer, his eyes sparkling a little. ]
Oh, so you do have a dark side, huh? Something a little seedy?
[ He's poking fun - but also trying to see what's underneath all of that. It's a fascinating little back and forth, isn't it? ]
no subject
[He doesn't rise to the challenge just yet, though, pushing the plate more towards the center of the table so Elan can grab a skewer. He meant it when he said he couldn't eat them all himself; he's already had dinner, so he's technically gone over the calorie limit already. But the only one who cares about enforcing that is Ibara, who isn't here right now! Score!]
Who, me? Why, of course not ♪
[A careless, chatty reply. But then more seriously he adds,]
Or at least that's the image I strive for: someone completely pure and pretty, like a flower. But none of us can stay completely pure, I suppose. We all get dirtied in one form or another, just from trying to survive in this harsh world.
[He speaks with a smile, though it looks more thoughtful than useful. Maybe this is him when he's not hamming it up?]
Anyway, I'd rather not talk about it too much, but there was something else before Eden. And things didn't exactly go too smoothly there. We still chased a dazzling dream together, but it wasn't meant to last. And the way things played out at the end was pretty sad...
[He idly twirls that straw again, thinking about Eichi, collapsed backstage. About Nagisa's hand trembling outside the school afterwards. About his own trembling hand.
But he forcibly injects his voice with some cheer before continuing. This is a karaoke room, not a confession booth!]
I knew I couldn't stay there, so I left! That's all there is to it. We parted ways, except me and Nagisa-kun. We're still thick as thieves. Because the two of us would never, ever let go of each other... ♪
no subject
Of course you wouldn't. You seem like the type to hold on to tight to the things you really enjoy.
[ The people he's close to. It's nice to have that, isn't it? ]
I didn't have anyone like that myself. So I guess you have the better of me on that front.
[ There's a little laugh. ]
And now I'm wondering how much I should tell you. You're good at dragging things out of me.
no subject
Something flickers on his face. His gaze softens, perhaps. Or maybe his smile thins out just a bit. It's not news, of course, nor is it anything shocking. There are plenty of people struggling alone in the world, with no one to look out for them. Still, he feels a sympathy pang. Which Elan-kun might not like, as Hiyori doesn't sense the desire to be pitied. He just can't help his "noble heart."
But he equally can't help his tendency to look on the bright side.]
There's still time, you know. To make precious memories, meet new friends, and all that good stuff. As long as you're alive, there's hope that things will improve. Even Nagisa-kun and I weren't together from birth, after all.
[There's a story there, about a boy raised in captivity who was briefly left in the care of Hiyori's family. That was really when he started to come into his own, isn't it? Not just Nagisa, but him too; he didn't have any dream to chase to before that strange and wonderful friend appeared in his life and handed one to him.
But he'll hold off on any further preaching about hope and friendship. The words he says are good and true and full of wisdom, but he doesn't much care to be preached to, himself! And he's determined to keep things light, quirking up his lips at the end there. Is Elan in the mood to share? Is now really the time and place for that? Does he just feel obligated, or would it feel like a load off his chest? He isn't sure, so he'll try not to push too hard either way.]
I've heard I have that effect on people! Though I don't like the sound of "dragging it out," since that seems a bit violent. Maybe "coaxing it out?" Though that wasn't my intention, either, really...
[He's rambling. And then abruptly he stops, glancing down at the partially-eaten hamburger before he exclaims,]
And I haven't fed you yet! But now I'm not quite sure the mood is right. Maybe I can do it and then we can play twenty questions? Or maybe we can play twenty questions and then I can feed you! Whichever~♪
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[ He picks up a bite of his food and then pops it into his mouth. He's a little distant and thoughtful for the next few moments as he mulls over something in his head. His nose wrinkles. Hmm. ]
Making precious memories... there's something to be said for that. I've been able to make some already thanks to some people I've met, including you.
[ There's a tight little smile. Something a bit more restrained then he tends to hand out. Maybe he's troubled? Or just working through something. ]
Feed me afterward.
[ He leans back in his seat with a frown and folds his hands behind his head. ]
I'll tell you about what I've been up to before all of this, if you really want to know.
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Though of course it's no substitute for having someone cherished like Nagisa-kun. Someone who's always with you, in spirit if not in body. He can't say he's prepared to become that person for Elan-kun—not when he's thoroughly devoted to his makeshift family (and his real one, too). And thanks to idol activities, he's usually busy.
But he wants to create more memories and wants to offer his support. It'd be great, he thinks, if he could see Elan truly grow and flourish. If he could become someone happy and self-satisfied. If he could find a dream, perhaps, or at least some goal to work towards. Focus on the future, leave behind the past! That's what Hiyori did, or tried to do. But...
Easier said than done. The past is still recent and it still haunts Elan, maybe even defines him. For all his carefree attitude, that's the impression Hiyori gets. He watches Elan's smile fade, a thoughtful frown replacing it. Something clearly weighs on him, and abruptly he realizes that now isn't the time for flirting or games. Elan feels like telling him.]
... alright.
[A smile, and a small nod of acknowledgment. He sits back in his chair and settles in to listen.]
Go ahead.
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[ He sounds distant - and his gaze is too, as if he can somehow pluck an explanation fully formed out of the air and save himself the time. Then he sighs. ]
I was selected when I was a little younger. I didn't have anything at the time. No money, no family, not much of a chance - but I was told that I could earn something for myself. That I could make enough money to live as comfortably as I needed. All I had to do was a job. And as it turns out it was a very... different kind of job.
[ His smile is brittle. ]
I became Elan Ceres. Because that isn't my real name. I wasn't born as Elan. I was supposed to be a double for the real one. Someone to go places for him, to fill in, to potentially take a hit if it came down to it. They even changed my face.
[ He waves his hand with another of those laughs as he leans back in his chair. He's affecting a nonchalant attitude, but he fully expects Hiyori to find him something of a freak by now. ]
That's the short version, anyway. I could get into it, but... [ He shrugs. ]
There's a lot that would need even more explaining.
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He blinks. Then blinks again, his brow furrowing at everything from the first sentence onwards. A double? As in... a body double? And not just that, but they "changed in face"? How? With make-up, or with surgery?
He's just stupefied. His thoughts actually had been straying in a similar direction, wondering if Elan-kun was involved with some sort of politics or espionage. But he hadn't expected it to go this far. Later he'll receive another revelation about a surgically-altered body double, but we haven't reached that point in the timeline yet, so for now, he's shocked! And it shows in his widened eyes, the gentle smile wiped clean off his face.
How does he respond? There's so much to unpack in that short explanation; where should he even begin? And how does he look at Elan, now that he knows what sort of burden he's been shouldering? It's just a lot to absorb, more than he can comprehend.
But in the end, he starts small.]
So... you mean to say Elan-kun wasn't your real name? I've actually been calling you by someone else's name?
[Yep. That's the part he chooses to fixate on!]
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That's your concern?
[ He puts his chin in his hand with a sigh and waves his hand. ]
No. It's my real name, but no one has used my real name in so long that it might as well be mine. I was also called Five.
[ He's curious if Hiyori will pick up the implication. ]
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Though perhaps not as big a deal as assuming their whole identity. That's an ordeal he can't even begin to comprehend.
It's somewhat of a relief to hear Elan-kun laugh (or... whatever his real name is). Yet Hiyori can't relax. That last bit of information comes as a surprise, his eyes flaring wide again. Then he wrinkles his nose.]
That just makes it sound like you're a horse being bet on.
[He shakes his head to himself, finding the whole thing distasteful. It's only now starting to dawn on him just how awful "Elan's" treatment really was. It's one thing to be overworked, or made to do hard labor; one thing to be given dull work and treated as a corporate drone. But to have your very existence denied? That goes beyond the pale.]
And it makes me wonder who "One" through "Four" went to. There aren't five other people who look just like you running around out there, are there?
["Elan-kun," four other doubles, and the high-ranking figure whose identity they assumed. There's no way some conglomerate would go to that much trouble... right? Even Eichi's family wouldn't devise a hairbrained scheme like that.
... at least as far as he knows.]
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[ He shrugs. ]
I didn't really have the privilege of knowing that kind of thing. I wasn't someone who got to know; I just did what I had to do to get by.
[ He's... being a bit blase about it, but it does still leave a mark. His whole identity has basically been wiped away and now he's picking up the pieces. It's not easy, but he doesn't like to mope about it. He tries to float - to just move. Even if he resents some of his lot in life. ]
You can still call me Elan. I don't mind it at this point.
[ And the writers didn't give him a "real" name. ]
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[He trails off abruptly, disturbed by the implications. Does it do any good to ask? It sounds as though Elan might not know, anyway.
There are lots of questions swimming around in his head. About what kind of person "Elan Ceres" was, for starters; Elan-kun must know that better than anyone, surely. It's hard to imagine someone so important that he'd require five people to sacrifice their lives. But then, he's not naive about what money and status can bring a person. If you're a high-ranking official or the scion to a wealthy family, you can get away with all sorts of things. Commoners are worth the dirt beneath your shoes, and people will look the other way if you mistreat those ranked below you. Those are the facts of life, and he himself has reaped the benefits, but...
A sick feeling roils around in the pit of his stomach as he thinks about it now.
A moment of silence, his face contemplative, and perhaps a tad bitter. Though in the end—as always—he manages to smile.]
... well, you caught me. I certainly wouldn't have guessed that. Though I was starting to wonder if you were involved in some sort of espionage. Slipping into exclusive gatherings, blending with the crowd, and eavesdropping on important officials. Like you'd see in a crime thriller or a spy movie ♪
[His smile is sad. That sort of job can't be easy, but it still would've been far preferable, wouldn't it?]
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Mmm. I did have to report back to people, but it wasn't quite the same thing. And definitely not as exciting as a spy thriller. Or maybe it's just not that exciting when you're living it and not just watching it on the big screen.
[ He offers a slightly bitter smile. ]
Sorry, guess I brought the mood down. But that's been my life - but now I have my self and my freedom, so that's something.
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For now, he takes the usual approach of trying to brighten up the mood. But that doesn't mean "Elan" is at fault for darkening it in the first place. Much as Hiyori tries, he knows it's impossible to avoid encountering ugly things in life.]
You don't need to apologize. There's someone who does need to apologize—actually, it sounds like there are several someones—but you're not at fault.
[Then he mutters,]
Though an apology might not cut it...
[Stripping five people's individuality away, and possibly even taking their lives? That's a crime that can't be easily atoned for. If Hiyori ever met the people responsible, he'd want more than just an apology.
But that's neither here nor there. Enough gloom!!! Focus on the positive!!! And he does manage to brighten up as he chimes in with the following:]
Something? I'd say that's everything. You can reach for whatever you please now—a new look, a new name, anything! But for now, I suppose we can just eat meat and sing our hearts out.
... that's not such a bad place to start, is it?
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[ He has to laugh. What else can he do? And it isn't as if Hiyori is wrong. He has new opportunities. A new life. He can try to find some meaning in that. He can make something for himself. ]
It's tasty, at least.
[ He pops a bit of food into his mouth, looking a little thoughtful. What else can he do? What else is there? He's... well. Is he happy? Maybe. He thinks he is. Or he's on his way there, anyway. Hiyori is around and-
Hiyori does make him happy, he has to admit. As strange as he can be sometimes, he makes Elan feel like he belongs. It's so effortless. ]
Maybe I can fall into your arms and you make me feel better about my tragic past. [ He sticks his tongue out again. ]
Or something like that. I'm just making things up now.
sorry for being slow lately
He's just not sure how to act. This whole thing has been terribly complicated. Elan's past seems like a great big dark abyss; the more time he spends digging around in there, the more likely he is to get swallowed up...
But as he's thinking that, Elan breaks the silence that's settled over them with a flirty (?) line. Hiyori blinks at him for a moment, before his lips curve into a wry smile. Right, of course—tragic past or no, "Elan-kun" is still "Elan-kun," and that includes a hefty dose of sarcasm.]
Already done "singing our hearts out," huh? You want to head straight to your room?
[His voice takes on a teasing lilt.]
Well, I already got to hear your singing voice, so I suppose we could do that. I'll hold you nice and tight inside my arms, and you can cry all you want. Unless that's not the sort of comfort you're looking for...
no worries, i know the feeling.
[ He gives Hiyori an amused look. ]
If you want to keep me company, I wouldn't object.
[ Which is... not exactly an invitation but it's not not an invitation, either. It's a little weird for him. He's been intimate with Hiyori. He thinks of him as... what? A friend, sort of? Someone he can get along with? A lover? That feels too intimate and yet- ]
I wouldn't want to leave you all disappointed and worrying about me for the rest of the night.
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[Assuming their smile doesn't look villainous like a certain someone's...
He sips his tea again, wondering idly to himself if Elan ever cried from the unfairness of it all. It sounds like there was no one else to cry on his behalf, anyway. And that's just awfully sad to contemplate.
The "invitation," however, pushes such thoughts from his mind. He observes his tablemate with an amused smile to match the one on Five's own face. There's no reason to doubt Elan's sincerity—they've already been together once. If anything, he might be holding back some of his enthusiasm... right? Saying "if you want," saying "I wouldn't want to disappoint you," when Hiyori doubts he'd be the only one disappointed.]
Well, if you did reject me, I would start to wonder if your eyes were working properly... so that might be a bit worrying?
[He smirks.]
Sure, why not ♪ I can't give you all night, but I can promise to make the most of our time together.
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[ Which he's still a bit blase about, all things considered. Maybe he's just had time to get used to it. Or maybe he's compartmentalized it. Hard to say, really. ]
And I don't want anyone crying about me, anyway. Not with real tears, anyway. That's just depressing.
[ He picks up a bit of skewer and pops it into his mouth. ]
Better to try and live, right?
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He's back to work on his second skewer when Elan drops that line about "crying for him," causing Hiyori's brows to jump. Can Elan-kun read minds?? That was an awfully uncanny coincidence just now! Though, if he doesn't want anyone crying for him, well, that's fine. After recovering from his surprise, Hiyori says as much.]
Mm, that's true.
[He hums his assent.]
I don't like crying, either. It makes my eyes all red and puffy, and I'd much rather look my best. I just wanted to let you know you could cry if you wanted, that's all.
[But as he said before, he'd rather see Elan smile.
He finishes chewing the rest of his meat in silence, takes another few sips of tea, and dabs at his mouth with the napkin. That's all he planned to eat, and since Elan-kun's still going, he decides to make a suggestion.]
Want to hear one more song? It'd give you something to pleasant to listen to besides just chewing sounds.
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[ OK, last reference to his depressing past, he promises. He pops another bite in his mouth, looking a bit distant - and then blinks at Hiyori. ]
If you'd like to give one to me, go for it. How can I complain about a personal show? I doubt anyone else gets front row seats with you like this.
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Songs, however, are a great way to spread cheer. It's just impossible to stay gloomy when there's a fun song being sung. And music could be considered the universal language, making songs the best way to touch people's hearts. To that end, he gets up from his seat, answering Elan's comment in affirmative.]
That's right ♪ It's a special perk just for Elan-kun. Aren't you blessed today?
[He goes up to the song selector again, scrolling through the selection. He didn't have anything in mind this time, so it's going to take a minute. He could just sing another one of his other songs, but maybe he'll see if there's anything else that strikes his fancy...?
Actually, maybe he'll see what's popular. He hits the list of most-played songs, finding a mix of classics and oldies, foreign songs, and pop music, including idol songs. There's a surprising amount of Knights in there (well, they are one of the big three, he supposes). And Eden's most recent track also made it to the bottom of the list, something that makes him smile. He'll have to tell Jun-kun. He's not really in the mood to sing Exceed, though, just because he's already showed it to Elan once, so let's see here...
Well, there's always the "randomize" option. If he doesn't like what it picks, he can just ignore the suggestion! So, he clicks on that, waiting to see which popular song it'll choose... and it looks like the song is D*sney. Which isn't too surprising, given the popularity of those movies. Can he handle this one, though?
Trick question. Of course he can, he's Hiyori Tomoe, the dazzling idol who can take on any role! He grabs the mic and addresses Elan with a smile.]
Looks like I'll be your princess for this next song. Prepare to be amazed...♪
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[ Ok, he's a little sarcastic, but there's a bit of appreciation there. He settles in his seat and he watches as Hiyori filters through the song selector. Again, music isn't his strong suit - but he's still interested in what Hiyori decides to pick. After all... it tells hims something more about him. Which he's finding he enjoys, a bit to his chagrin. He taps his foot on the fllor as he waits, watching and waiting. ]
You're something else...
[ And then he laughs. ]
From the way you've treated me, I thought I was the princess. Was I wrong about that?
[ He's joking about a few different aspects of their relationship, such as it is. ]
But I'll wait with bated breath. And hold my applause until the end.
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[He smirks. It's not lost on him that he's taken the "man's" role in some of their interactions, if only in the sense that he pays for stuff due to his wealth. That's fine, he can play any role to perfection!]
This'll just be for one song, and everything will return to normal between us afterwards. But for now, here's this ♪
[And here the song starts, this particular version opening on some light guitar. Hiyori holds the mic to his chest, a soft smile on his lips, doing his best to channel his inner Disney princess. And then he sings.
Look at this stuff, isn't it neat, wouldn't you think my collection's complete? That's right, it's that song! One of the ones that anyone with any familiarity with D*sney should know, though Hiyori isn't sure if Elan falls under that category. He's heard the song before himself, but never actually sung it, so he needs to look at the lyrics as he sings. He's also not an especially huge fan of the song, or anything. So why'd he accept the machine's suggestion instead of tossing it back to the sea? Well, three reasons!
1. He wanted to try something new for a change!
2. He was mistaken for a mermaid princess by a child at the beach once, so it seemed somewhat fitting. (Long story.)
3. Elan's been talking about how he wanted to live, so this song about longing to explore more of the world and walk on land as a human seemed fitting for those reasons, too.
All of that is why. And it's why he'll sing his heart out!]
♫♪♫♪~
[It's not a very practiced solo, but he sings with a steadily building passion, trying to convey the princess's longing through his face and his voice. He even reaches his arms into the air as though reaching towards the surface of the sea. But he finishes with the microphone held to his chest again, quelling his sense of longing at the end.]
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sorry for the delay!
lol what delay
maybe it just felt like one to me because i spent a million hours at work on monday
oh no... hope you're free from overwork now
mostly!
great news
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yeah it's my turn to apologize for being slow at this point
noooo worries
dies under a mountain of game tags
i know this feeling
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