( of course she hadn't— in fact she's probably eaten and drank things that were spiked, explaining why she might have been so willing to sleep with certain people like shanks. now that she thought back on it, were any of her encounters fully of her own will? it seemed in that moment her world was starting to crumble, the foundation shaking and what she knew and was so sure of wasn't the reality anymore. still did it really matter? they were gentle with her, kind and became friends with her after. was it really that bad?
as she mulled that over, she remained silent, hands tightening against her legs as she sat before him and listened. there was a nervous expression on her face now, a mix between a child being called out for being foolish and someone who suddenly had the weight of the world on their shoulders. the only thing she could focus on was taking advantage of her rank— )
R-Right....yes I'm going to do that moving forward.
( she did have goals after all, but still she swallowed down a nervous bundle of saliva that had gathered in her mouth and remained still as he went on. she thought about his words of punishment— would she face such a thing? she had been behaving, complying like sanji told her to. what really seemed to get at her was the higher ranks being cruel to the lower ones. sure she was childish, manipulative in the sense that she wanted company and would do anything to get it, but to outright be mean to someone because of their rank? no she wouldn't ever do that because she knew what that was like. being half-japanse and half-white, being bullied as a child for having blonde hair and not speaking the language, she knew what that was like. she never bullied anyone, was never mean but....she had been reckless with her actions back home. if someone got hurt because she slept with a married man [which she did], it wasn't her problem.
yet sitting here and hearing this, she began to become painfully aware of herself and her actions. by the time hiyori finally finished and went on, there was a bead of sweat dripping down the side of her face and all the color within it had left her.
she was clearly very disturbed. )
It's funny...I had joked about there being a punishment room to someone else. I laughed and they looked so serious...I guess I know why now.
( though given his own idle thoughts, who knew if he even knew if there was such a thing. )
A month....a month? That seems so harsh...
( and now she's just nervously filling the spaces between his conversation with her own little thoughts. )
I uh....that's quite a bit of information to take in.
never any worries ♡
as she mulled that over, she remained silent, hands tightening against her legs as she sat before him and listened. there was a nervous expression on her face now, a mix between a child being called out for being foolish and someone who suddenly had the weight of the world on their shoulders. the only thing she could focus on was taking advantage of her rank— )
R-Right....yes I'm going to do that moving forward.
( she did have goals after all, but still she swallowed down a nervous bundle of saliva that had gathered in her mouth and remained still as he went on. she thought about his words of punishment— would she face such a thing? she had been behaving, complying like sanji told her to. what really seemed to get at her was the higher ranks being cruel to the lower ones. sure she was childish, manipulative in the sense that she wanted company and would do anything to get it, but to outright be mean to someone because of their rank? no she wouldn't ever do that because she knew what that was like. being half-japanse and half-white, being bullied as a child for having blonde hair and not speaking the language, she knew what that was like. she never bullied anyone, was never mean but....she had been reckless with her actions back home. if someone got hurt because she slept with a married man [which she did], it wasn't her problem.
yet sitting here and hearing this, she began to become painfully aware of herself and her actions. by the time hiyori finally finished and went on, there was a bead of sweat dripping down the side of her face and all the color within it had left her.
she was clearly very disturbed. )
It's funny...I had joked about there being a punishment room to someone else. I laughed and they looked so serious...I guess I know why now.
( though given his own idle thoughts, who knew if he even knew if there was such a thing. )
A month....a month? That seems so harsh...
( and now she's just nervously filling the spaces between his conversation with her own little thoughts. )
I uh....that's quite a bit of information to take in.