[It's strange to be told these things to his face, like how one talks about a late loved one who had not been given a just life. Was it injustice to talk poorly of a version of himself that he's never known, but everyone else has? Is that even someone he could really be.
It's weird to hear it. To be told things that were true and things that could be true, but they were also things that can't be true, because he's never experienced it. It's a strange thing to see Hiyori working himself up in a stupor, voice slowly escalating in volume even in such a strange environment. It's easy to forget where they are at the moment, and what they were wearing-- or well, what they lacked wearing. Like a discussion they should be having in the privacy of a room and not here, in a paintball war in near nakedness.
It's so strange to hear all that, so much so that Rinne isn't sure how to react.
And he might not even realize he's smiling the more Hiyori talks about him, not truly understand the way his heart aches fondly, even if Hiyori was practically a stranger. Or perhaps it's also because he was a fellow idol, and hearing someone speak highly of him after everything he'd done... It was a strange moment.]
... The way you talk about me, you'd think I ain't livin' and breathin' right at this moment. You tryin' to write me off as a memory already?
[He starts, the joke falling flat, even as he sighs and leans back. Already, he doesn't care if they get caught and he's forced out naked. Whatever. This was bizarre enough as is.]
If I got you thinkin' that much about me, then I guess I made a mark somehow. Doesn't sound like you ended up hatin' me, so does that mean ya love me now?
[A memory. The words hit strangely as he comes down from his emotional high, rattling around in his brain.
That's all "that" Rinne is: a memory. He won't ever exist again. Not the Rinne who gave him advice about Jun and performed with him at the beach. Not the one who confided in him about Akan and held him when he cried. The only record of that person's existence is his own memories. And who knows how long he'll be allowed to keep those? Rinne lost his memories, after all. It's enough to make him feel acutely, momentarily hopeless.
But then Rinne sighs and says those last words, and all at once, his chest constricts. It sounded, to him, like acceptance-like Rinne's not throwing out his feelings or denying they could've ever had a bond. And it sounded so Rinne-like, too. After all, wasn't he always saying like things like that? "Gyahaha, you love me, don'tcha?" It's enough to make him realize this isn't a different person. With or without his memories, this is Rinne Amagi, sitting next to him for the first time in months.
His vision blurs with tears, and he gives Rinne a defiant look.]
So what if it does? Whose fault is that?
[And then he breaks eye contact, scrubbing at his face with his hands. He doesn't even have a sleeve he can dry his tears with! How horrible.]
You're still below a lot of people, though. Like Nagisa-kun, Jun-kun, Mary, my family, and my birds. So don't go getting too carried away.
[He speaks while wiping at his eyes. Then he hears footsteps approach—unsurprising, given that he's been making no effort to keep his voice down. But he still gives an exhausted grimace.]
What a pain.
[He glances at Rinne again. It's tempting to tell him to do all the work. But if they do want to beat their opponent...]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
moves this here coz i got tired of waiting for captcha
[It's strange to be told these things to his face, like how one talks about a late loved one who had not been given a just life. Was it injustice to talk poorly of a version of himself that he's never known, but everyone else has? Is that even someone he could really be.
It's weird to hear it. To be told things that were true and things that could be true, but they were also things that can't be true, because he's never experienced it. It's a strange thing to see Hiyori working himself up in a stupor, voice slowly escalating in volume even in such a strange environment. It's easy to forget where they are at the moment, and what they were wearing-- or well, what they lacked wearing. Like a discussion they should be having in the privacy of a room and not here, in a paintball war in near nakedness.
It's so strange to hear all that, so much so that Rinne isn't sure how to react.
And he might not even realize he's smiling the more Hiyori talks about him, not truly understand the way his heart aches fondly, even if Hiyori was practically a stranger. Or perhaps it's also because he was a fellow idol, and hearing someone speak highly of him after everything he'd done... It was a strange moment.]
... The way you talk about me, you'd think I ain't livin' and breathin' right at this moment. You tryin' to write me off as a memory already?
[He starts, the joke falling flat, even as he sighs and leans back. Already, he doesn't care if they get caught and he's forced out naked. Whatever. This was bizarre enough as is.]
If I got you thinkin' that much about me, then I guess I made a mark somehow. Doesn't sound like you ended up hatin' me, so does that mean ya love me now?
no subject
That's all "that" Rinne is: a memory. He won't ever exist again. Not the Rinne who gave him advice about Jun and performed with him at the beach. Not the one who confided in him about Akan and held him when he cried. The only record of that person's existence is his own memories. And who knows how long he'll be allowed to keep those? Rinne lost his memories, after all. It's enough to make him feel acutely, momentarily hopeless.
But then Rinne sighs and says those last words, and all at once, his chest constricts. It sounded, to him, like acceptance-like Rinne's not throwing out his feelings or denying they could've ever had a bond. And it sounded so Rinne-like, too. After all, wasn't he always saying like things like that? "Gyahaha, you love me, don'tcha?" It's enough to make him realize this isn't a different person. With or without his memories, this is Rinne Amagi, sitting next to him for the first time in months.
His vision blurs with tears, and he gives Rinne a defiant look.]
So what if it does? Whose fault is that?
[And then he breaks eye contact, scrubbing at his face with his hands. He doesn't even have a sleeve he can dry his tears with! How horrible.]
You're still below a lot of people, though. Like Nagisa-kun, Jun-kun, Mary, my family, and my birds. So don't go getting too carried away.
[He speaks while wiping at his eyes. Then he hears footsteps approach—unsurprising, given that he's been making no effort to keep his voice down. But he still gives an exhausted grimace.]
What a pain.
[He glances at Rinne again. It's tempting to tell him to do all the work. But if they do want to beat their opponent...]
Shall we ambush them together?