( Have you ever pulled up someone's contact information and sat there with an open message for hours because you can't decide what to say, or how to say it?? Esikko is getting used to this feeling about now, but this is the first time he's left evidence behind when he's closed out and "given up" on the idea of trying to speak in any serious way to Hiyori about his gloomy feelings right now.
So, strangely, the only message sent is this silly little bracket that he hit send on while trying to back out. )
[A new message from the user known as "wildflower." But when he clicks it, there's nothing! Just blank space.
If he was busy, he might just ignore it. It's not like he's never gotten an accidental call or message before. That sort of thing happened at home sometimes. What the commoners call "butt dialing!" But would someone really sit on their own smartwatch by mistake while it's still strapped to their wrist...?
You're sure you weren't just lonely and looking for someone to talk to?
[๐]
The holidays were nice! There was Christmas cake, Christmas cookies, presents, and a surprise apple tart delivery! And even my favorite food, which is salmon quiche! I know I had a good time, and so did Jun-kun and Leo-kun. And so did my birds. And my sunflowers! Before the holiday was up, I made sure to sing them some Christmas carols~๐ถ Then we all had a happy new year, too.
( IS IT THAT OBVIOUS?? He's going to crawl into a hole. He takes a long time to get back to this, typing and erasing along the way. )
I don't think that I did.
And it's strange, because it's never stopped me before this place, and I never cared, and could never see it, but hearing you talk about your fun... I mean, I don't want to cover the sun with clouds. That sort of thing. You know?
( struggling with his words... )
If I vanished suddenly, or turned into a statue, would you care? I don't mean saying "that's so sad" and taking a moment before moving on and never thinking of me again, either, I mean, would it trouble you in any sort of lasting way?
[While Esikko is typing and retyping, Hiyori will continue to flip through job ads. He spent too much money on cute seasonal stuff last month and now he's low on chips! But unfortunately the Help Wanted ads, which range from "BDSM dungeon janitor" to "orgy fluffer" to "part-time erotic pastry chef" simply aren't sounding appealing. Then he sees the new message.
Gah. What happened to Esikko over the holidays? Did his not-a-roommate dump him? Did Kirma-kun come back from the dead and eat all his Christmas cake?? This doesn't sound good!]
I already said I'd care!
[... or did he? He gave him Friendship Tea, but that was sort of in lieu of telling him he cared. Hm.]
But I'll say it again.
If Esikko-kun disappeared, I'd be upset, since he's my friend who I drink tea with! I'd miss hearing you talk about flowers and magic, just as I'm sure you'd miss hearing my voice. And we haven't sang karaoke yet!
It wouldn't be for just a minute, either. I'd feel troubled every day, since seeing those sunflowers would make me remember you.
And I'm sure other people would also be sad. Like Leo-kun. Or Baku-kun! He'd probably rather die than admit it, but that's just because he's an awkward kid. I'm sure he cares in his own way.
( Both of those outcomes might have been preferable, is how he feels right now, but. This is nice to hear (read) all the same. Is it a false comfort, to be eased a little by something like this? He hasn't figured that out yet. )
I'm afraid I've troubled both of them with it already, but my health is worsening. I don't know how much longer I have.
You must've tried a lot of things at this point, but there *are* plenty of people with healing magic around. Are you sure one of them couldn't make a difference?
Also, given what you said before, are you sure they'd even let you stay dead?
[Though he's heard from Bakugo that people who undergo the revival surgery come back with new problems.]
( Another thing that's bothering him, without any of the acknowledgement of his other comments. He'll get there, eventually, he'll explain it's not that simple, maybe... But right now.
He doesn't know Kirma is, in fact, alive now! Because he normally always comes to see him, to tell him. And he hasn't this time. )
He was there for an unusually long time. I don't check often, or anything, just when I'm passing by and think of it, you know... Or if I'm getting supplies. This latest time, no one seemed to know where he was?
( he literally cannot fathom being forgotten or ignored by him )
[Did they lie to him? Did the procedure not work and they didn't want to admit it? Or did he somehow vanish from the climic while no one was looking?]
Have you checked that registry to see if his name is still listed? That was how I figured out Rinne-senpai had become a statue. Last time he disappeared, people said that if his name was still listed there, it meant he was still in the resort somewhere. So when it fell off, I knew he wouldn't turn up again in a month like last time.
[Hiyori didn't know there was a registry until someone told him when Rinne disappeared the first time. Ever since then, he's been checking it regularly: when he hasn't heard from Leo recently, or when Jun's lingered a little longer at the gym than usual. It beats sending "Are you still alive?" texts and suffocating them with his worries. Though now he has an even more reliable method of tracking Jun's whereabouts...
In any case, it doesn't take long for him to navigate there. He scrolls down, looking for Kirma's name and username. And then...!]
[He's not the least bit convinced by those "It doesn't matter"s. And after this whole conversation began with Esikko telling him he felt gloomy and asking if he'd be sad if he died, there's no way he can just say "No worries! Good luck with everything!" and close the convo. He's got to do something.]
Alright! I'm giving you 2 options!
1) I can try to contact Kirma-kun myself if you want. We haven't spoken in a while, but we used to be on friendly terms. He even bought me cookies once! So if I reached out to him again and said something like "How are you doing? It's been a while since I've seen you around, so I thought I'd check up on you!" he might not suspect any funny business.
2) We can both forget about Kirma-kun and go get some ice cream!
Or I can do 1 first, and then we can do 2. Whichever seems best!
There's a flavor I think would suit you. It's pink, with sugary flowers. I've had it a few times, but now I want to share it with you.
I do hope *that* answers your question.
So I'll meet you at the ice cream stand next to "Birdbucks!" Assuming you can make it there without too much trouble. You said your health has declined, but are you bedridden?
That does sound like a nice flavor... My birthday passed recently, you know, and the House made it so no one would leave me alone when I went out in public. So I didn't get to enjoy any little treats like that.
Anyway, I can move around just fine. I'll be there.
( Just because he can move around doesn't mean he should, but unlike at home, he doesn't have anyone here to follow him around and nag him into resting. )
Then I guess we're going out for birthday ice cream! ๐ฅณ It's more common to eat cake on your birthday, but I don't see anything wrong with switching things up a little. They say variety is the spice of life! Anyway, see you soon! ๐๐
[What a pity. If he'd known, he could've brought noisemakers and party hats. But if Esikko is tired of people approaching him in public then maybe it's best not to cause a scene for once. In any case, he'll be waiting at the ice cream stand without a pointy hat on his head.]
I wasn't sure when it would be on this calendar, either, but apparently. The 11th. I'll see you.
( Esikko doesn't take too long to show up. He's got a more floral scent to him than usual, thanks to the bandaging covering a large open wound on his back, but it's all bandaged, and clean, and he's dressed over the top of it, so it's not any sort of visual issue. So, he's presentable! Thankfully.
His steps are a little slower, is the only thing, as he approaches, but he tries to detract from that with the way he reaches out to poke at the pointy hat with a dubious sort of stare. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
un: wildflower
So, strangely, the only message sent is this silly little bracket that he hit send on while trying to back out. )
]
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If he was busy, he might just ignore it. It's not like he's never gotten an accidental call or message before. That sort of thing happened at home sometimes. What the commoners call "butt dialing!" But would someone really sit on their own smartwatch by mistake while it's still strapped to their wrist...?
He replies just to make sure!]
What's up?
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I was just, you know, clicking around in boredom...
Did you have a nice time over the holidays?
( since when does he ever ask things like this? he's trying, okay )
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[๐]
The holidays were nice! There was Christmas cake, Christmas cookies, presents, and a surprise apple tart delivery! And even my favorite food, which is salmon quiche! I know I had a good time, and so did Jun-kun and Leo-kun. And so did my birds. And my sunflowers! Before the holiday was up, I made sure to sing them some Christmas carols~๐ถ Then we all had a happy new year, too.
What about you? Did you have a good holiday?
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I don't think that I did.
And it's strange, because it's never stopped me before this place, and I never cared, and could never see it, but hearing you talk about your fun... I mean, I don't want to cover the sun with clouds. That sort of thing. You know?
( struggling with his words... )
If I vanished suddenly, or turned into a statue, would you care? I don't mean saying "that's so sad" and taking a moment before moving on and never thinking of me again, either, I mean, would it trouble you in any sort of lasting way?
no subject
Gah. What happened to Esikko over the holidays? Did his not-a-roommate dump him? Did Kirma-kun come back from the dead and eat all his Christmas cake?? This doesn't sound good!]
I already said I'd care!
[... or did he? He gave him Friendship Tea, but that was sort of in lieu of telling him he cared. Hm.]
But I'll say it again.
If Esikko-kun disappeared, I'd be upset, since he's my friend who I drink tea with! I'd miss hearing you talk about flowers and magic, just as I'm sure you'd miss hearing my voice. And we haven't sang karaoke yet!
It wouldn't be for just a minute, either. I'd feel troubled every day, since seeing those sunflowers would make me remember you.
And I'm sure other people would also be sad. Like Leo-kun. Or Baku-kun! He'd probably rather die than admit it, but that's just because he's an awkward kid. I'm sure he cares in his own way.
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I'm afraid I've troubled both of them with it already, but my health is worsening. I don't know how much longer I have.
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You must've tried a lot of things at this point, but there *are* plenty of people with healing magic around. Are you sure one of them couldn't make a difference?
Also, given what you said before, are you sure they'd even let you stay dead?
[Though he's heard from Bakugo that people who undergo the revival surgery come back with new problems.]
no subject
( Another thing that's bothering him, without any of the acknowledgement of his other comments. He'll get there, eventually, he'll explain it's not that simple, maybe... But right now.
He doesn't know Kirma is, in fact, alive now! Because he normally always comes to see him, to tell him. And he hasn't this time. )
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[Welp.]
Is he in the clinic? Or did he just disappear?
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( he literally cannot fathom being forgotten or ignored by him )
no subject
[Did they lie to him? Did the procedure not work and they didn't want to admit it? Or did he somehow vanish from the climic while no one was looking?]
Have you checked that registry to see if his name is still listed? That was how I figured out Rinne-senpai had become a statue. Last time he disappeared, people said that if his name was still listed there, it meant he was still in the resort somewhere. So when it fell off, I knew he wouldn't turn up again in a month like last time.
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1/2
[Since that is probably faster than explaining how to find it to Mr. Couldn't Locate the Emoji Button.]
2/2
In any case, it doesn't take long for him to navigate there. He scrolls down, looking for Kirma's name and username. And then...!]
Still listed!
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So that means... he must be somewhere? You're absolutely certain? He's somewhere and he's ignored me? He didn't come let me know?
He's never once listened when I told him to stay away, you know?
( his mood is not improving, as it turns out. he might be spiraling! live over text!! )
no subject
[But hmmm, this reaction... Despite everything, Esikko still cares about Kirma, huh? The one who saved him on that fateful day in the snow...]
If anyone knows what happened to him, it'd probably be that boyfriend of his, right?
I know you said he's a knife-wielding lunatic, though. So if you'd rather not ask him, I don't blame you.
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It doesn't matter. ( he's said that twice now, but is it true? )
It's fine. I was a fool for thinking he'd be the same after finding that man, right?
I troubled you unnecessarily, so I'm sorry.
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Alright! I'm giving you 2 options!
1) I can try to contact Kirma-kun myself if you want. We haven't spoken in a while, but we used to be on friendly terms. He even bought me cookies once! So if I reached out to him again and said something like "How are you doing? It's been a while since I've seen you around, so I thought I'd check up on you!" he might not suspect any funny business.
2) We can both forget about Kirma-kun and go get some ice cream!
Or I can do 1 first, and then we can do 2. Whichever seems best!
no subject
Don't bother contacting him if you wouldn't normally. I don't want to know anymore.
Ice cream is fine and all, but it's not out of pity, is it?
Also, I should warn you my declining health means I'm a little bandaged up right now.
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There's a flavor I think would suit you. It's pink, with sugary flowers. I've had it a few times, but now I want to share it with you.
I do hope *that* answers your question.
So I'll meet you at the ice cream stand next to "Birdbucks!" Assuming you can make it there without too much trouble. You said your health has declined, but are you bedridden?
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Anyway, I can move around just fine. I'll be there.
( Just because he can move around doesn't mean he should, but unlike at home, he doesn't have anyone here to follow him around and nag him into resting. )
no subject
[Oops.]
Then I guess we're going out for birthday ice cream! ๐ฅณ It's more common to eat cake on your birthday, but I don't see anything wrong with switching things up a little. They say variety is the spice of life! Anyway, see you soon! ๐๐
[What a pity. If he'd known, he could've brought noisemakers and party hats. But if Esikko is tired of people approaching him in public then maybe it's best not to cause a scene for once. In any case, he'll be waiting at the ice cream stand without a pointy hat on his head.]
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( Esikko doesn't take too long to show up. He's got a more floral scent to him than usual, thanks to the bandaging covering a large open wound on his back, but it's all bandaged, and clean, and he's dressed over the top of it, so it's not any sort of visual issue. So, he's presentable! Thankfully.
His steps are a little slower, is the only thing, as he approaches, but he tries to detract from that with the way he reaches out to poke at the pointy hat with a dubious sort of stare. )
What is this...?
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