[It's sadly not a kotatsu. Nor is it anything that requires that much effort to set up. Just drilling a hook in the ceiling! It's something he could do himself, he just doesn't feel like it!
... it's also right there in the box that's propped up behind the couch. But if Jun asked what was in that, well, that would mess up continuity, since he still doesn't know what it is by the time they have their network thread the next day. So for now, Jun will just have to remain unaware that Hiyori is hanging a canopy over his bed. Something like this, except with some lights added. All so he can sleep and fuck his boyfriend in peace, without worrying about the House spying on him with hidden cameras! When he said he wouldn't mind being filmed 24 hours a day, that was not an invitation to the House!!
Er, but anyway.
There's not a whole lot left to say. They're on the same page, and he's sure what's in their heart is one and the same. He hasn't always been sure of that, but he's certain of it right now. And he knows a romantic mood has formed, just like it did in the flower maze when Jun said the carnation looked beautiful on him. So, having twined their hands, he brings their foreheads together next.]
Mm ♪
[He hums happily, before leaning in to peck Jun on the lips: soft and chaste, but still heartfelt. In the aftermath, he smiles fondly.]
I've got lots of surprises up my sleeve, too, of course. So you'd better prepare yourself ♪
[ Hopefully, that could be something Jun invests in the future. Not as if they'd need it with the heating, but a little comfort from home might be nice.
.... though, picturing Hiyori drilling a hook in the ceiling might be the most amusing thought. Good thing he hasn't noticed the box, nor will he, not until it's finally set up! More than likely, if Jun knew, he'd probably offer to hang it himself. But the canopy will offer a lot more privacy, so they can do whatever they'd like without the House watching their every move.
It has been confusing getting to this point, but they're very clearly on the same page, and Jun couldn't be happier. Resting their foreheads together, each time Hiyori kisses him, it's as if his breath catches within his throat.
He returns the hum, adding a peck of his own, rubbing his thumb across Hiyori's palm. ]
You do, huh~? Looks like I'll hafta start seriously preparing myself for real ♪ Doubt you'll go dropping any hints, so I gotta be patient. Doing stuff like this has me real excited, didja know? More specially, 'bout goin' on this journey with you.
[He kind of wanted it to be a surprise. And perhaps he was just the tiniest bit shy about his rationale being obvious: that is, that he wants a privacy curtain so they can hug and kiss and do other things away from the House's prying eyes!
But if the staff member never shows up, he could always have Jun do it. Or Rinne now that Rinne's back. He owes Hiyori for making him worry!
For future reference, though, we'll assume they did show up, and that the canopy is prepared by the time Jun takes refuge in his room away from crawlers and chemical spills. All's well that ends well.
It's silly that even a peck from Jun is enough to make his heart soar. Or that Jun's thumb sliding across his palm stirs so much warmth in his chest. But that's the magic of love, he's finding out: even the littlest things feel special and wonderful!
And is there anything "little" about this? He can't picture the old Jun-kun pecking his lips sweetly and talking so poetically. His phrasing causes Hiyori's eyebrows to lift.]
A journey, hmm? ♪ That's a lovely way of putting it.
[His eyes fall shut. Sometimes it really does feel like he's dreaming. The whole place feels unreal, in good ways and (many, many) bad ways. But he feels positive his relationship with Jun isn't some fleeting dream, but his new reality. Their new reality. A journey they're embarking on together!]
I'm not sure I've ever been on the sort of journey you're talking about. But now, I simply can't wait ♪ I'm sure the "grand surprise" that lies in store for us will be absolutely astonishing. And perhaps we'll even find some hidden treasure chests along the way! ♪
[Then he blinks his eyes open.]
—Ah, not the ones the House left. I meant other treasures. The kind we plant and uncover ourselves! I don't want to give them too much credit.
[ It will be one big surprise, but ultimately, it makes the most sense from their perspective. He still doesn't understand how or when the House knows they've had sex, so a private little space for them makes perfect sense. (... until their watches go off again.)
Besides, he's trying to figure out those feelings. Sure, he's aware of just how difficult it is to express yourself, but being here with Hiyori now has taught him many wonderful things. Perhaps things he might not have learned for a long time, especially if they were back home, but without reason, he's learning just what it feels like to have intense, deep feelings. Instead of denying them!
Which includes all the new phrasing he's been working on. Not only to help express how he feels better but to show Hiyori how much effort he's going to. See, he has been paying attention! ]
Mmm, yeah! I've been learnin' new things ♪ And paying attention to stuff 'round here.
[ He smiles again, taking a deep breath before exhaling. Right now, it feels as if he's in the happiest place on Earth, which would be true if they weren't stuck here. But there are only positive feelings when he thinks about Hiyori, what their future means together and whatever comes from it once they return. ]
Well, bein' honest, I've never been on one myself! Looks like we're gonna work out the kinks together ♪ Yeah, I'm really looking forward to going through this with you, Ohii-san. It might be bumpy, but I know we got it!
[ He squeezes their hands again. ]
Yeah, didn't think you'd wanna give them any credit. We've done it so far without their help, so don't think we're gonna start anytime soon. So, it'll be sorta like a garden, won't it? We're gonna watch ourselves grow every day!
[Sadly there's no escaping those watches going off. Though things could be worse. The watches could play that one Lonely Island song every time someone has intercourse!
Hiyori's heart squeezes in time with Jun squeezing his hand. When he said he'd never been on this sort of journey before, he meant that he'd never dated someone. Not with any degree of seriousness, anyway. This whole "being in love" thing is new to him. But it's the same for Jun, and they'll just have to figure it out together! They've been doing well so far, anyway. Maybe this is a cage where they can't spread their wings fully, but when he's with Jun-kun, his heart soars and takes flight!
In other words, Jun isn't alone in the cheesy-metaphors-for-their-relationship department. It seems they both have plenty of those up their sleeve. And didn't Jun once compare him to a ray of sunshine who can make "even a dirty stray dog like him" sparkle and shine? Perhaps their relationship has always brought out Jun's poetic side!]
I'm sure we would've ended up the same even if it weren't for this resort. Things might've gone a bit differently, but I won't give this place all the credit. Or even much of any credit.
[He swings their hands lightly, his smile warm and thoughtful. He doesn't know how long it would have taken them to get together like this at home. They had their careers to focus on, and he hadn't been sure if Jun felt the same way as him. But it would've happened eventually. Right? They'll never know now, but it's what he'll choose to believe.]
I guess it sounds almost like fate when I put it that way. Which isn't a concept I've ever put much store in, but perhaps being with Jun-kun has broadened my outlook somewhat ♪
[This time, it's him who strokes his thumb over Jun's palm, nuzzling closer to his face.]
Either way, I'm excited to start our new "gardening" journey. I'm sure all our flowers will bloom beautifully ♪
[ Or they could send you the fabled "I just had sex" cake! But this place sure does know how to ruin a mood.
He's not entirely sure on Hiyori's meaning, so he can only assume they are on the same page about dating. Before arriving here, Jun hadn't ever been on a date, so likewise, he had no idea how different things should be. Yet, it feels easy, like pieces effortlessly fitting together, and perhaps it's not starkly different from their routines together back home. Instead, they can kiss, hold hands and do other things.
So, he doesn't consider such metaphors cheesy, but maybe they don't come as effortlessly to him as they do to Hiyori. Still, he's been putting in the effort, and occasionally, Jun does find himself expressing poetic words. Really, he's committed to improving himself each and every day. ]
Yeah, don't wanna think 'bout the coulda beens. But all the credit should go to us, 'cause we're the one's figurin' it out, not this place.
[ He allows Hiyori to swing their hands together, and his smile just as warm and bright. Back home, things probably might have gone differently, but eventually they would have gotten there. If only Jun hadn't persisted in denying those feelings stirring within his heart, which other idols seemed to pick up on. However, that's all in the past now; their feelings align, and it's all thanks to both of them. ]
I dunno much 'bout fate either, but turns out both our outlooks've turned out that way.
[ And maybe he should've accepted his fate sooner, but the thought of admitting his long-denied feelings feels embarrassing. How would that have impacted their working relationship? Jun wouldn't have wanted any awkwardness between them, especially when it might have been obvious to their fans.
He leans in a little closer, watching how Hiyori nuzzles into him. ]
And I'm not gonna lie, I've still gotta lot to learn 'bout this kinda relationship journey, Ohii-san. I'm real excited 'bout this, so can't wait to see how we'll grow from here ♪
[He'd take that over a giant penis cake from Great Tit, anyway.
There's not a lot left to say. They're going on a journey together, and they're both excited to do it! Though Jun calling it a "relationship journey" gives him another small flutter. They've been dancing around the truth for the past month or so; he didn't call the flower maze excursion a "date," didn't tell Jun he wanted to be a couple, didn't confess his love. But now that words like "date" and "relationship" are being used, there's absolutely no room for doubt, and that feels comforting. Comforting and yet simultaneously thrilling.
He and Jun really are lovers now. In addition to being partners, that's what they are now. As of today, it's official. What absolutely wonderful weather.]
Mm! ♪
[He hums happily, feeling a little burst of excitement.]
And the next stop on our journey is that soirée! Or the recital first, and then the soirée! So as soon we know the theme, we'll have to go on a shopping trip. If we swing by a café afterwards, you might even be able to call it a "date"! And you can never have too many dates, I say. Or at least I can't, when my partner is Jun-kun.
[ That's what this is, isn't it? He wants to leave no room for doubt, making certain his feelings come across loud and clear, just as they did the other time. Except this time, he's been mulling over those feelings more and more, deciding now is the perfect opportunity to express them in person nonetheless. They have been dancing around the topic for long enough, even if they haven't explicitly spoken about what happened in full. But is it wrong of him to want this before they've been on another date? And a date he knows 100% is one? All Jun can do is take the shot, and if this isn't something Hiyori wants, then he'll say so.
But he hasn't, which has his heart soaring. That's it, isn't it? Now, it's official. He and Hiyori are together! ]
'Course it's a few days away, but promise we'll go soon as we know ♪ But I mean, if you wanna go on other "dates" before then, how am I gonna complain? We'll go on plenty of dates, alright~? Goin' places with you sure sounds like a good time.
[Jun took his shot and it landed. A straight bulls-eye, piercing right through Hiyori's heart!
And all he can do is grin with every new word. "Goin' places with you sure sounds like a good time," Jun says, even though at home, he might have said it sounds like a pain! But then Hiyori is asking him to come along as more than just a bag-carrier this time. And wasn't at least part of that whole "you're my servant!" shtick just an excuse to spend time with Jun, anyway? That's not to say he won't ever ask Jun to carry something for him again, because he definitely will, but it seems those pretenses aren't needed anymore.]
Yep, I said it, so that's how things will be! ♪
[He chirps his agreement. And he could just leave it there. But...
There's one more thing he wants to say. And he draws back a little to say it, just enough to give Jun a full view of his face.]
We can go on as many dates as we want. And you're also free to come to my room and hold me as much as you want. Those are the new rules ♪
["Hold him." That's the wording he chooses. But he's not just talking about chaste hugging. Surely Jun knows it, even though he tries to sound casual.]
[ It took courage—the sort of courage he never thought he'd muster.
Normally, he would complain and say it was nothing but a big pain to be delegated as the bag carrier! But this time, something has shifted, knowing it may not be that much anymore. And, in the first place, didn't Jun always agree to carry bags despite complaining? Either way, the shift proves to be a good thing!
His heart still tugs at the words, the chirp of agreement and does a flip as Hiyori draws back, saying he wants to be held as a "new rule." Well, how can Jun refuse? And there's a realisation of what "hold him" means, with his bottom lip curling into a smile, nodding with a quick response. ]
Ohii-san wants to be held, huh~? Maybe I'll think 'bout it ♪
[ He jokes, taking a deep breath in. ]
Honestly, I was kinda hoping you'd say that, 'cause it seems like we want the same thing ♪ But if I'm gonna live by any of Ohii-san's seriously annoying rules, it'll be the one where I'll be holding you real close and tight.
[Thankfully he knows better than to take that seriously. And Jun cops to his true feelings a second later, anyway. Hiyori can't stay mad at him (can't even get mad at him in the first place), not when he's still overjoyed at how things have turned out between them.]
Well, good! ♪ You have strong arms from all that weight-lifting, so you might as well put them to good use! And "holding me tight" is right up there with "carrying my bags" on the usefulness scale.
[Or carrying him off to bed.
... they're still talking in euphemisms a little bit. Hiyori would never use it, but "hold" could've easily been substituted with another four-letter word. Which, well, are they on the same page regarding that? Does Jun want to take that role with him, and does he know he just got the okay for it?
Hiyori won't start fretting over that, though. Now isn't the time. And also, of course Jun would want to. Why wouldn't he? His partner is the beautiful Hiyori Tomoe! And on the off-off-chance Jun didn't want to, they'd work something else out.]
You can even practice right now! Why don't you come here? ♪
[He steps back, spreading his arms wide open. For all his thoughts about doing other stuff, he likes a good hug, too! ... If he sounded a little like he was beckoning a dog just now, oh well. That's just a habit from talking to Mary!]
[ Good thing Hiyori knows better, leaving a happy hum to follow after he's done expressing how he'd really want to hold Hiyori. Whatever has spun on their axis for this to happen, he's going to thank whoever made it possible. ]
Says you ♪ I'm already putting 'em to good use, I tried tellin' you before! But it looks to me like I can use 'em for your "usefulness scale."
[ Whatever the heck that means! But having these muscles is useful for carrying Hiyori off to bed; what other person would, to begin with?
Even with them dancing around, speaking in euphemisms rather from outrightly saying what they want to say, he thinks he's following. ... not as if he'd be willing to say outloud loud just what he wants. They must be on the same page, wanting the same thing, but it's a big step. (Unlikely, he's realised right this second, it could hit him later.)
He glances up, his gaze drawn to Hiyori's open arms, waiting for him. It's a strange shift, from staunchly refusing his hugs to now craving them, though Jun's yet to fully understand why. The beckoning hardly bothers him, only envoking memories of their week spent together. Without a word, he steps forward, being enveloped in Hiyori's embrace, resting his head against him, and allowing a smile to spread across his face. ]
.. you're warm, Ohii-san. It's really like bein' basked in sunlight.
[ He murmurs softly, his hands caressing Hiyori's back, pulling him into a tighter embrace. ]
[If they ever need help communicating, surely Rinne could assist them in using clearer language. "Just tell Sazanamin that ya want him to fuck ya stupid! Kyahaha!" <--- That's probably what he'd say.
But, you know, he does want more than that. If all he wanted from Jun was his body like a certain SOMEONE here then things wouldn't be so fraught. They'd collect each other's cards and move on with their lives. But the spoiled Hiyori Tomoe is much too greedy for that, and he decided long ago that he wants everything from Jun: Jun's loyalty and Jun's voice, Jun's body and future and heart. And of course, his love. Hiyori got all that and more, it seems, which might just make him the luckiest person in this casino.
He feels Jun walk into his waiting arms, tuck his head next to his. It's solid and warm, a sweet moment of intimacy and comfort in a place that's trying to deny them both those things. "When you feel anxious, there's nothing like letting someone hold you tight while you listen to the sound of their heartbeat," he'd said to Jun once. And it must have been true, since all his anxieties feel very far away at the moment. It's dangerous to let one's guard down in this place, but...
With Jun, it should be alright.
He wraps his arms loosely around Jun's shoulders and laughs at Jun's words, soft and pleased.]
Mm, yep. That's exactly what my love feels like ♪
[Butterflies form in his stomach. Unlike his usual "Work hard if you want to earn my love" comments, this is a more serious usage of the L-word. But it felt right to say it.]
[ Time for them to get their act together so Rinne-senpai's boisterous kyahaha's won't ruin the moment!
There are plenty of reasons why this could have ended with them collecting their cards and moving on. But, as expected, Jun would never want things to end there. Never wanting a single thing from Hiyori, only to stay by his side. If their passion for one another ended with the first time, the "Springtime" game, then it wasn't meant to be. Part of Jun did think he was delusional after the game ended, wondering if he imagined it all or if he was imagining just how much closer they'd gotten. The maze changed his mind about their feelings for one another, realising they weren't fleeting but real.
He keeps his head nestled against Hiyori's, ready for their heartbeats to become one. Here he can feel the rise and fall of Hiyori's chest, and the reminder of when Hiyori had said those words sinks in. How can they not be true? Any previous worry has long vanished, being replaced by an ever-comforting warmth. And with the sound of Hiyori's laugh, it's as if the sun itself is shining brighter, casting away any dark, lingering shadows.
Love, words spoken numerous of times before. In fact, there are plenty of times where he's teased Jun and plenty of times where he hasn't. But the seriousness sinks in, heart strumming loudly as if it might jump out, the pattering of Hiyori's loud against his ears. As it turns out, Hiyori's love has been the one thing holding him together from the moment they crossed paths up until now.
So this is Ohii-san's love. The warmth he's felt all this time. ]
Actually, the more I think 'bout your love, the more it makes sense. And it makes me wanna feel Ohii-san's love forever ♪
[ He wants it—to accept the love offered to him and return the same tenfold. ]
Who'd have thought your love was the one thing keeping me warm? Even now, I'm hoping you'll feel it, too. My "love"!
The warm feeling that's come over him now. The emotion that's gripped his heart these past two years. The thing that's overwhelmed him to the point of hugging his pillow alone in his room. That's the word for it.
He's been thinking about "love" more often recently. Love is what's missing from this place, he told Leo. "There's no one better at giving or receiving love," he told someone else here. He's been turning over the lyrics to his second solo in his free time, something he was working on at home that got put on the backburner so they could practice for SS. That song is about love, of course. The warm and all-accepting love he means to shower his fans with. But his love isn't just reserved for them, for Eden or his family.
It makes his stomach squirm a little, putting himself out there like that. But at this point he doesn't fear rejection. And sure enough, that's not at all what Jun gives him. He's silent for a moment, just taking in his partner's wonderful words, his breath stuck somewhere in his throat.]
Mm...
[But he finds his voice eventually. Still hugging Jun back, he confirms,]
I can feel it.
[Because he really can. It makes his voice unsteady and his knees weak, but he can; the boy he picked up like a stray dog two years ago really did come to love him. How miraculous is that?]
And since forever is what we promised, that's exactly what I'll give you.
[ Slowly, but surely, Jun's been showing more of his heart over the years. The feeling of loving someone—with the someone being Hiyori—hasn't been easy; it's been easier to ignore back home, where their jobs as idols take up all their free time. But love turned Jun around, making him into the idol he is today. Love helped mend his heart and his anger and gave him a purpose beyond being the Non-special, worthless, dirty, stray he used to be.
When Rinne-senpai returned, he began clearly expressing his feelings for Hiyori at the table. Over time, Jun's come to accept that his feelings for Hiyori were indeed love, which he now intends to embrace. And when he confided in Topaz about his feelings, she helped him realise this environment wasn't the source of them. And they'd always been there—something Jun knew from the beginning. He began talking about feelings with Topaz, who helped him understand that this place wasn't making him feel that way.
While vulnerability hardly comes easily, he can be vulnerable with Hiyori, knowing he will be accepted and loved for all his feelings and more. ]
You can? That's.. that's good, Ohii-san.
[ Despite his deep love for Hiyori, his fear of rejection held him back from confessing his feelings—until now. Love can be a daunting and all-consuming feeling, making him hyper-aware of Hiyori's actions. Yet, after nearly three years, he knows him well and remains unfazed by his partners behaviour, even when there are reasons he should be.
But Hiyori can feel his love, and that's all that matters. ]
And that's what I'm giving you too, Ohii-san. Not just the promise, but my heart and love forever.
["You can?" Jun asks, sounding surprised. Or maybe just overwhelmed, the same way Hiyori is. But he confidently answers,]
Yep! ♪
[And then he reaches for one of Jun's arms, wrapping a hand around his wrist and guiding Jun's hand over to the center of his chest. Aiming to place it right over his heart.]
Right here, I can feel it.
[It wasn't a guarantee. That Jun would come to love him, that is. Or that it'd be the same kind of love that Hiyori felt. That's why he's so overcome. Jun went above and beyond for him, of course. But was that out of love, or was it because that's what Hiyori demanded of him? Was it love or was it "gratitude" fueling Jun's tenderness towards him? Where does one even draw the line between those two emotions?
He used to think Nagisa didn't love him. That he was more like an overgrown duckling who'd imprinted on the first person to teach him things, who'd showed what it meant to live. In many ways, his relationship with Jun was similar. But he knows better now. The truth is that he's surrounded by love. And he's incredibly, unbelievably happy. He couldn't possibly be happier!
At least not until Jun promises him his heart and his love forever, and then he somehow finds a way.]
Oh, really?
[Surprise flickers across his face before he breaks into an even bigger, even more beautiful, impossibly-brighter smile. There's only one thing he can say.]
[ It is overwhelming, mostly as now he can confidently say the feeling deep inside his chest happens to be love! Or rather, connecting the dots over the past few months, he can now express his feelings with absolute certainty, there's no room left for doubt.
From feeling so unsure to accepting the love given, listening to Hiyori's confident tone helps, realising it would be illogical to reject his love. But love can be intimidating, as it can easily be mistaken and confused for other emotions such as gratitude. Another important reason for Jun to have utter confidence in his love, especially when Hiyori already had his heart long before today.
His heart beats even faster, if possible, but he feels it. ]
Mhm, I'm really happy you can feel it.
[ Tone soft, taking a deep breath, Jun half curls his fingers against the hand right on his heart. Having Hiyori here with him feels comforting, the same way he's always felt, the same way he'll always feel.
Feeling this way is easy, he realises when the surprise flickering across Ohii-san's face breaks into an even bigger, brighter smile. A smile so beautiful has Jun catching his breath, a short tinkle of laughter following. ]
I could say the same thing, y'know? 'Cause now I've got you, I'm not boutta give you up for anybody or anything ♪
[ Also a promise and a threat, knowing this isn't an ideal place for their love to blossom. But Jun couldn't care less, he's going to defy the House every step of the way, especially now his feelings are returned. ]
Call it intuition, if ya want, but I've got a real good feeling 'bout us.
[Jun's palm feels warm against his chest, and he in turn wonders if Jun can feel his heartbeat through the cloth. Right now it's racing just as fast as it would during a live show. It's like that because of Jun!
Either way, his big, beaming smile is going nowhere. Not when Jun says he won't give him up for anyone; he's overjoyed to hear it, rather. These days, he isn't riddled with anxiety that Jun will choose someone else. Maybe a month or two ago, but not now, after Jun held his hand in a flower maze and called him beautiful. Not after he said that thing on the Network about taking a "shot" with someone who was most definitely him. And certainly not after hearing him talk about his "love." He'll trust in Jun's words, in the warmth of Jun's hand, in the way Jun looks at him—all of it. All those wonderful things are just for him to enjoy.
But, you know, despite trusting his partner, it's still nice to hear Jun won't be "giving him up" for any boys who called him cute on his profile or girls who think they're game characters!]
Good.
[A simple response, but with plenty of conviction behind it.]
Because I want you to hold on tight without ever letting go.
[He squeezes Jun's hand. This isn't the ideal environment for love, it's true. But neither was Reimei Academy, or a unit built with nothing but profitability in mind. They can handle it here. He believes in their ability to make something wonderful bloom in even the dreariest of circumstances.]
... I'm sure this place would test a lot of people. But I have absolute faith that Jun-kun will stay the same person I find so lovable. The one I chose as my partner ♪
[It's not quite "the person I fell in love with," but it's a start.]
[ He can feel something through the layers of fabric, despite his hand shaking only slightly. There's warmth and kindness beneath his fingertips.
Confessing his feelings, despite the risks, has lifted a weight off his shoulders, as he no longer worries about rejection or hiding how he truly feels. Gradually opening his heart to Hiyori seemed easier than he expected, without Jun ever fully realising. There was something special about Hiyori that had the unique ability to turn him into a lovesick fool—but despite the challenges posed by their careers and current environment, reaching this pivotal moment seemed effortless. Their bond had never been stronger.
Honestly, he'd probably feel a little embarrassed if he ever found out Hiyori knew what he'd written on the post, but that self-disclosure was a key factor in the decision to confess his feelings. So why not allow them to find happiness together? He hopes Hiyori can trust him and his words because they will never be broken. ]
Don't worry, Ohii-san, I don't ever plan on letting go.
[ A simple response has him smiling, knowing their bond is unbreakable. Although neither place back home provided an ideal environment, there is a positive feeling between them. Wishing he had been more forthright about his feelings earlier, but dwelling on what could have been will not change anything. It feels good to have those words reiterated; knowing they can work through this, and things will unfold as they had hoped, perhaps even exceeding their expectations.
He breathes in, affectionately rubbing his nose against Hiyori's. ]
That's precisely why I've got a good feeling 'bout us. So I'm gonna make sure no one comes in and thinks they can ruin what we've got! It's like you said, I've got faith Ohii-san's gonna stay the same, too. And if you don't, I'll drag ya back down to reality. Got it?
[Yes. Well. It's probably for the best that Hiyori never goes back to look at Jun's threads on that Network post for other reasons, too...
If he gets the urge to reread a conversation, though, it's going to be this one from last month. The one where Jun first said all sorts of wonderful things to him, from "My mind races with all the things I wanna do by your side" to "My heart is just filled with you." The one where he said that his words during SS weren't just about singing. The one where he promised to stay by him forever, just as he's promising him again now.
All of that helped prepare him for him Jun's in-person confession, making sure it didn't reduce him to a blushing mess (that would've been embarrassing). But it still feels almost unreal to have Jun nuzzling him sort of like a cat and promising not to let go. It makes his heart vibrate with affection.
But it also soothes his anxieties. Especially what Jun says at the end. He spends much of his time worried about Jun, but he's also been worried about the impact this place might have on him. What if when he leaves, he can't go back to being "the idol called Hiyori Tomoe"? What if he's become too jaded, too cynical, too dirty? What if his shine is gone and he's no longer the dazzling existence his fans love? These worries would be haunting him a lot more if Jun wasn't there, but thanks to his partner's presence, they're barely present most of the time.
Jun keeps him grounded. He knows that. And he'll just have to keep doing the same for Jun.]
Mm.
[He hums softly, leaning his nose against Jun's.]
I'm glad you can say that, despite everything that's happened. ... I don't like that Jun-kun got taken and put in a place like this, but I'm glad to have you here with me.
[A pause, and then he continues:]
After we got here, me and Leo-kun had a conversation about staying "ourselves" in this place. He pointed out that some of the longer-term guests seem like they've been brainwashed. And he said that if he ever loses interest in composing, that'll be a sign he's no longer himself.
[He keeps Jun's hand in a squeeze. It's sort of a depressing topic, but he figures it's relevant.]
I guess in my case, it'd be something like "if I'm not looking out for Jun-kun, or I stop wanting Jun-kun as my partner, then that's a sign I'm no longer myself." That's how important an existence you've become to me. But I do have faith those things won't ever happen. The House can throw all manner of distractions at us, but they can't take away our feelings for each other.
[ Perhaps it is a good thing Jun hardly remembers the other thing he was posting about (or with) during that Network post.
The good news is that he has been re-reading those comments repeatedly, especially the last one Hiyori wrote before disappearing. (Only to see him later in the evening for dinner, where something was knowing, something real between them.) Jun meant every word in those messages; not only was he trying to gauge Hiyori's potential reaction, but he also thought it helped him realise their feelings might be mutual. Even if the scary thought about an in-person confession lingered, the depths of his feelings were getting too much, as if threatening to consume him entirely, leaving him desperate to convey them at last.
Despite the risks, his love for Hiyori is unwavering. Even if this situation were to ruin them both, even if their secrets were discovered upon their return, Jun would continue loving Hiyori no matter the consequences. Nothing could ever stop his feelings; an intense, overwhelming love between them.
But there is a sense of relief in hearing those words come from his partner. Brainwashing isn't quite the most happy of topics, though there is an understanding there. In complete agreement, Jun nods and responds by lightly kissing Hiyori's lips. He can't quite help himself, being this close, nuzzling again as the familiar warmth lingers.
Hiyori has also become a significant figure in his life. Someone important—the most important person—more than he's willing to admit. ]
Well, the same applies to me! If I quit wanting to do things for you or start saying anything 'bout not wanting to stick by your side, you'll know something's wrong. And I'd want ya to break me outta it, even if you've gotta be violent 'bout it! You've become the sorta person who I'll always wanna be 'round, 'cause I'm always thinking 'bout you.
[ The same as he told Hiyori through texts—an embarrassing amount. ]
And I'm with you, Ohii-san, no matter what goes on with this place. We just gotta remember we've got one another's backs! Plus, they'll never be able to take away our feelings for one another, 'cause we won't let 'em ♪
[ But it is rather a good thing none of those things are real. ]
It's scary, Ohii-san. And I gotta say I'm pretty scared 'bout relationships and all the stuff that'll come with being in one, 'cause I dunno what I'm doing or where we'll go. But it feels right, to be with you! And I know we'll figure it out together, won't we?
[Careful about telling a Spades suit they're welcome to get violent with you.
... not that Hiyori feels any such urges right now, least of all towards his loving partner. The talk of brainwashing really is a mood killer, but Jun responds with a kiss anyway, short yet sweet enough to make his head go fuzzy. If it weren't already fuzzy from all of Jun's sweet words, that is.
It's not so fuzzy he's incapable of teasing, though.]
... mm, got it!
[He hums cheerfully, forehead still leaning against Jun's, his smile turned sly.]
If I ask Jun-kun to do something, but he says it's a pain or he doesn't want to, then that's a sign his brain isn't working! So, I'll flick him upside the forehead! ♪ Or gently thwap the back of his head. Whichever~ ♪
[Hopefully that bit of silliness will dissolve some of the heaviness brought on by the topic change.
He thinks about moving Jun's hand away from his chest, guiding it back down to his side so they can hold hands without it being quite so serious. Then Jun says that thing about being scared, and instead he lets it stay resting over his heart. Jun probably can't feel the way it reacts to his use of the word "relationship," but Hiyori sure can, his chest constricting as though Jun reached directly inside him, closed a hand around his heart and squeezed.]
Yep~. It feels completely right. For me to be Jun-kun's first, that is.
[First kiss that he knows of, first time, first relationship. First "partner." He's greedy and selfish enough that he's thrilled to claim all of Jun-kun's firsts. Though he also adds,]
And for you to be my first.
[Because that's true, too. He already admitted it when he said he'd never been on a "journey" like this before. It figures that Jun, whom he'd already been treating as a "partner" for more than just singing, would be the one he commits to. Jun, whom he's so determined to tether to his side. Jun, whom he thought was "beautiful" and felt captivated by from the very start, before Jun had done anything for him and before they'd even said a word to each other.
Hiyori's not ready to admit that yet. He feels readier now than he would have at home, but he'd rather keep that under wraps for a little while. It's still somehow embarrassing, admitting how long Jun's had his heart. But it's that knowledge—the knowledge that Jun can steal his heart just with his dazzling existence—that Hiyori feels compelled to tell him not to worry, and he tries to tie that back to what he said before about the resort.]
So, because we make perfect sense together, I wouldn't fret too much. As you said, we'll figure it out. All Jun-kun really needs to do is stay true to himself. And then we'll go back together to the place where we belong ♪
... It's not just for Nagisa-kun, Ibara, and our fans' sakes that we get back. It's for our own sake, too. I'm happy here when I'm with Jun-kun, but I'm sure we can be even happier at home.
[He laces their fingers together tight and smiles, staring right into Jun's eyes as he says his last piece.]
Achieving your dream alongside the one you love sounds like something from a manga, doesn't it? I struggle to think of anything more romantic than that... ♪
[Hopefully their fans will see it his way. Not anytime soon, but some day in the distant future.]
[ The talk of how to realise if one of them has been brainwashed hasn’t made him realise how important it’ll become in case one of them does. Truthfully, should they not have more resilience? They’re idols, not some kind of “normal” person who would be easily swayed by temptation. They are the temptation!
He half-laughs, far too happy about being close to complain. But maybe… ]
Well, it’s more like if I don’t end up doing those things. ‘Cause I still complain but do ‘em!
[ Truthfully, he hardly minds running errands, stopping whatever he’s doing or anything else for Ohii-san’s whimsical sake. If Jun truly had issues, he’d have plenty of reasons to deny any request’s given.
But as is, he doesn’t.
And as this stands, Jun hastily confirms how afraid relationships are for him. As someone afraid of losing someone special, the special someone being Ohii-san, there is a fair chance this may not work out. Deep inside his psyche, the biggest fear would be losing Hiyori over something as silly as their current situation. There always will be a fear of losing someone you love, and that would be the worst, most soul crushing fear.
But having the reassurance, the words telling him otherwise will make the fear subside. It does as much when Hiyori begins speaking, telling him all the wonderful things about being one another’s firsts. (Or Jun, it’s really none of his business who Hiyori has been with before him.) ]
Mhm, I’m real glad all my “firsts” was with someone I love.
[ His cheeks burn admitting to it, and he hasn’t a chance to stop himself before the words come out. But meaning those words will never stop their meaning. Jun loves him, he knows this for certain. There is no point of him denying how he feels when being loved back feels like home.
It makes perfect sense for them to be together, with the happiness of them being together outweighing the rest. He wishes he could feel Hiyori’s rapid heart beats, the same as his own heart beats faster with each word. ]
We do make perfect sense together, so I’ll do my best and we’ll figure out how it’s gonna go. I promise I’m always gonna stay true to myself, I’ll never lose sight of us.
Yep, we’ll be even stronger back home, not worrying ‘bout what’s going on day to day. I’m also happy being here with Ohii-san, but we’ve got this shared goal of making it home.
[ He smiles, fondly, allowing his partner to lace their hands together. He stares back, rubbing circles across his palm and nodding. But he can’t help tease, ]
Have ya been reading some sorta shoujo manga, Ohii-san~? But it sorta does, except this is our life, so achieving the same dream sounds pretty good to me. ‘Specially when you’re the only person who can make me feel loved.
[ Yes, he couldn’t think of anything more romantic. ]
Edited (phone tags ruined my life) 2024-06-28 23:53 (UTC)
Is that so? Hmm, alright! Sounds easy enough to remember. "If Jun-kun complains, but still does it, then he's still the same old Jun-kun! But if he doesn't do it, he's not Jun-kun, whether he complained or not!" Makes perfect sense to me.
[Yep. He's still teasing. He doesn't actually mind if Jun complains sometimes. It's part of their back-and-forth!
But the teasing ends fast, because that "all my firsts were with someone I love" line completely decimates him.
He blushes harder, now. A fierce, luminescent blush. They've said the word "love" a few times now, but somehow that direct phrasing just does him in. Jun-kun said "someone I love." He has someone he loves and that "someone" is him.]
M... Mm.
[He struggles to even hum in response. His heartbeat is so frenzied that he's sure Jun must be able to feel it thundering.]
I still remember what Jun-kun said before. About wanting it to be with someone he cares about "deeply." So, I'm glad I could be Jun-kun's...
[He trails off. His voice is on the verge of cracking; this is so embarrassing. But maybe it's fine to get a little emotional. Isn't it? His secret love was returned. His secret fears never came to fruition. His worries that Jun would fall prey to the resort's corrupting influence, or he'd become jaded and cold, or he'd get hurt or used up by someone, or he'd fall in love with someone else here and choose that person over Eden and over him... None of that ever happened. None of that ever will happened. Jun is his.
And he's the one Jun loves.
Forget being on the verge of cracking. By the time Jun reaches the end, saying he's the only person who's made him feel loved, he's fully cracked. He might tear up if this goes on! Talk about embarrassing!]
... sorry, but I need to hug you tight for a bit.
[That's all the warning Jun gets before Hiyori flings both arms around his middle and squeezes hard, burying his face next to Jun's. He doesn't have a pillow to hug, but that's okay. Jun-kun's here, so he'll hug Jun-kun!
Being a replacement pillow is a job for his lover, after all.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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... it's also right there in the box that's propped up behind the couch. But if Jun asked what was in that, well, that would mess up continuity, since he still doesn't know what it is by the time they have their network thread the next day. So for now, Jun will just have to remain unaware that Hiyori is hanging a canopy over his bed. Something like this, except with some lights added. All so he can sleep and fuck his boyfriend in peace, without worrying about the House spying on him with hidden cameras! When he said he wouldn't mind being filmed 24 hours a day, that was not an invitation to the House!!
Er, but anyway.
There's not a whole lot left to say. They're on the same page, and he's sure what's in their heart is one and the same. He hasn't always been sure of that, but he's certain of it right now. And he knows a romantic mood has formed, just like it did in the flower maze when Jun said the carnation looked beautiful on him. So, having twined their hands, he brings their foreheads together next.]
Mm ♪
[He hums happily, before leaning in to peck Jun on the lips: soft and chaste, but still heartfelt. In the aftermath, he smiles fondly.]
I've got lots of surprises up my sleeve, too, of course. So you'd better prepare yourself ♪
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.... though, picturing Hiyori drilling a hook in the ceiling might be the most amusing thought. Good thing he hasn't noticed the box, nor will he, not until it's finally set up! More than likely, if Jun knew, he'd probably offer to hang it himself. But the canopy will offer a lot more privacy, so they can do whatever they'd like without the House watching their every move.
It has been confusing getting to this point, but they're very clearly on the same page, and Jun couldn't be happier. Resting their foreheads together, each time Hiyori kisses him, it's as if his breath catches within his throat.
He returns the hum, adding a peck of his own, rubbing his thumb across Hiyori's palm. ]
You do, huh~? Looks like I'll hafta start seriously preparing myself for real ♪ Doubt you'll go dropping any hints, so I gotta be patient. Doing stuff like this has me real excited, didja know? More specially, 'bout goin' on this journey with you.
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But if the staff member never shows up, he could always have Jun do it. Or Rinne now that Rinne's back. He owes Hiyori for making him worry!
For future reference, though, we'll assume they did show up, and that the canopy is prepared by the time Jun takes refuge in his room away from crawlers and chemical spills. All's well that ends well.
It's silly that even a peck from Jun is enough to make his heart soar. Or that Jun's thumb sliding across his palm stirs so much warmth in his chest. But that's the magic of love, he's finding out: even the littlest things feel special and wonderful!
And is there anything "little" about this? He can't picture the old Jun-kun pecking his lips sweetly and talking so poetically. His phrasing causes Hiyori's eyebrows to lift.]
A journey, hmm? ♪ That's a lovely way of putting it.
[His eyes fall shut. Sometimes it really does feel like he's dreaming. The whole place feels unreal, in good ways and (many, many) bad ways. But he feels positive his relationship with Jun isn't some fleeting dream, but his new reality. Their new reality. A journey they're embarking on together!]
I'm not sure I've ever been on the sort of journey you're talking about. But now, I simply can't wait ♪ I'm sure the "grand surprise" that lies in store for us will be absolutely astonishing. And perhaps we'll even find some hidden treasure chests along the way! ♪
[Then he blinks his eyes open.]
—Ah, not the ones the House left. I meant other treasures. The kind we plant and uncover ourselves! I don't want to give them too much credit.
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Besides, he's trying to figure out those feelings. Sure, he's aware of just how difficult it is to express yourself, but being here with Hiyori now has taught him many wonderful things. Perhaps things he might not have learned for a long time, especially if they were back home, but without reason, he's learning just what it feels like to have intense, deep feelings. Instead of denying them!
Which includes all the new phrasing he's been working on. Not only to help express how he feels better but to show Hiyori how much effort he's going to. See, he has been paying attention! ]
Mmm, yeah! I've been learnin' new things ♪ And paying attention to stuff 'round here.
[ He smiles again, taking a deep breath before exhaling. Right now, it feels as if he's in the happiest place on Earth, which would be true if they weren't stuck here. But there are only positive feelings when he thinks about Hiyori, what their future means together and whatever comes from it once they return. ]
Well, bein' honest, I've never been on one myself! Looks like we're gonna work out the kinks together ♪ Yeah, I'm really looking forward to going through this with you, Ohii-san. It might be bumpy, but I know we got it!
[ He squeezes their hands again. ]
Yeah, didn't think you'd wanna give them any credit. We've done it so far without their help, so don't think we're gonna start anytime soon. So, it'll be sorta like a garden, won't it? We're gonna watch ourselves grow every day!
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Hiyori's heart squeezes in time with Jun squeezing his hand. When he said he'd never been on this sort of journey before, he meant that he'd never dated someone. Not with any degree of seriousness, anyway. This whole "being in love" thing is new to him. But it's the same for Jun, and they'll just have to figure it out together! They've been doing well so far, anyway. Maybe this is a cage where they can't spread their wings fully, but when he's with Jun-kun, his heart soars and takes flight!
In other words, Jun isn't alone in the cheesy-metaphors-for-their-relationship department. It seems they both have plenty of those up their sleeve. And didn't Jun once compare him to a ray of sunshine who can make "even a dirty stray dog like him" sparkle and shine? Perhaps their relationship has always brought out Jun's poetic side!]
I'm sure we would've ended up the same even if it weren't for this resort. Things might've gone a bit differently, but I won't give this place all the credit. Or even much of any credit.
[He swings their hands lightly, his smile warm and thoughtful. He doesn't know how long it would have taken them to get together like this at home. They had their careers to focus on, and he hadn't been sure if Jun felt the same way as him. But it would've happened eventually. Right? They'll never know now, but it's what he'll choose to believe.]
I guess it sounds almost like fate when I put it that way. Which isn't a concept I've ever put much store in, but perhaps being with Jun-kun has broadened my outlook somewhat ♪
[This time, it's him who strokes his thumb over Jun's palm, nuzzling closer to his face.]
Either way, I'm excited to start our new "gardening" journey. I'm sure all our flowers will bloom beautifully ♪
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He's not entirely sure on Hiyori's meaning, so he can only assume they are on the same page about dating. Before arriving here, Jun hadn't ever been on a date, so likewise, he had no idea how different things should be. Yet, it feels easy, like pieces effortlessly fitting together, and perhaps it's not starkly different from their routines together back home. Instead, they can kiss, hold hands and do other things.
So, he doesn't consider such metaphors cheesy, but maybe they don't come as effortlessly to him as they do to Hiyori. Still, he's been putting in the effort, and occasionally, Jun does find himself expressing poetic words. Really, he's committed to improving himself each and every day. ]
Yeah, don't wanna think 'bout the coulda beens. But all the credit should go to us, 'cause we're the one's figurin' it out, not this place.
[ He allows Hiyori to swing their hands together, and his smile just as warm and bright. Back home, things probably might have gone differently, but eventually they would have gotten there. If only Jun hadn't persisted in denying those feelings stirring within his heart, which other idols seemed to pick up on. However, that's all in the past now; their feelings align, and it's all thanks to both of them. ]
I dunno much 'bout fate either, but turns out both our outlooks've turned out that way.
[ And maybe he should've accepted his fate sooner, but the thought of admitting his long-denied feelings feels embarrassing. How would that have impacted their working relationship? Jun wouldn't have wanted any awkwardness between them, especially when it might have been obvious to their fans.
He leans in a little closer, watching how Hiyori nuzzles into him. ]
And I'm not gonna lie, I've still gotta lot to learn 'bout this kinda relationship journey, Ohii-san. I'm real excited 'bout this, so can't wait to see how we'll grow from here ♪
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There's not a lot left to say. They're going on a journey together, and they're both excited to do it! Though Jun calling it a "relationship journey" gives him another small flutter. They've been dancing around the truth for the past month or so; he didn't call the flower maze excursion a "date," didn't tell Jun he wanted to be a couple, didn't confess his love. But now that words like "date" and "relationship" are being used, there's absolutely no room for doubt, and that feels comforting. Comforting and yet simultaneously thrilling.
He and Jun really are lovers now. In addition to being partners, that's what they are now. As of today, it's official. What absolutely wonderful weather.]
Mm! ♪
[He hums happily, feeling a little burst of excitement.]
And the next stop on our journey is that soirée! Or the recital first, and then the soirée! So as soon we know the theme, we'll have to go on a shopping trip. If we swing by a café afterwards, you might even be able to call it a "date"! And you can never have too many dates, I say. Or at least I can't, when my partner is Jun-kun.
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But he hasn't, which has his heart soaring. That's it, isn't it? Now, it's official. He and Hiyori are together! ]
'Course it's a few days away, but promise we'll go soon as we know ♪ But I mean, if you wanna go on other "dates" before then, how am I gonna complain? We'll go on plenty of dates, alright~? Goin' places with you sure sounds like a good time.
[ The best time, if he's being truly honest. ]
So that'll be how it is from now on ♪
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And all he can do is grin with every new word. "Goin' places with you sure sounds like a good time," Jun says, even though at home, he might have said it sounds like a pain! But then Hiyori is asking him to come along as more than just a bag-carrier this time. And wasn't at least part of that whole "you're my servant!" shtick just an excuse to spend time with Jun, anyway? That's not to say he won't ever ask Jun to carry something for him again, because he definitely will, but it seems those pretenses aren't needed anymore.]
Yep, I said it, so that's how things will be! ♪
[He chirps his agreement. And he could just leave it there. But...
There's one more thing he wants to say. And he draws back a little to say it, just enough to give Jun a full view of his face.]
We can go on as many dates as we want. And you're also free to come to my room and hold me as much as you want. Those are the new rules ♪
["Hold him." That's the wording he chooses. But he's not just talking about chaste hugging. Surely Jun knows it, even though he tries to sound casual.]
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Normally, he would complain and say it was nothing but a big pain to be delegated as the bag carrier! But this time, something has shifted, knowing it may not be that much anymore. And, in the first place, didn't Jun always agree to carry bags despite complaining? Either way, the shift proves to be a good thing!
His heart still tugs at the words, the chirp of agreement and does a flip as Hiyori draws back, saying he wants to be held as a "new rule." Well, how can Jun refuse? And there's a realisation of what "hold him" means, with his bottom lip curling into a smile, nodding with a quick response. ]
Ohii-san wants to be held, huh~? Maybe I'll think 'bout it ♪
[ He jokes, taking a deep breath in. ]
Honestly, I was kinda hoping you'd say that, 'cause it seems like we want the same thing ♪ But if I'm gonna live by any of Ohii-san's seriously annoying rules, it'll be the one where I'll be holding you real close and tight.
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[Thankfully he knows better than to take that seriously. And Jun cops to his true feelings a second later, anyway. Hiyori can't stay mad at him (can't even get mad at him in the first place), not when he's still overjoyed at how things have turned out between them.]
Well, good! ♪ You have strong arms from all that weight-lifting, so you might as well put them to good use! And "holding me tight" is right up there with "carrying my bags" on the usefulness scale.
[Or carrying him off to bed.
... they're still talking in euphemisms a little bit. Hiyori would never use it, but "hold" could've easily been substituted with another four-letter word. Which, well, are they on the same page regarding that? Does Jun want to take that role with him, and does he know he just got the okay for it?
Hiyori won't start fretting over that, though. Now isn't the time. And also, of course Jun would want to. Why wouldn't he? His partner is the beautiful Hiyori Tomoe! And on the off-off-chance Jun didn't want to, they'd work something else out.]
You can even practice right now! Why don't you come here? ♪
[He steps back, spreading his arms wide open. For all his thoughts about doing other stuff, he likes a good hug, too! ... If he sounded a little like he was beckoning a dog just now, oh well. That's just a habit from talking to Mary!]
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Says you ♪ I'm already putting 'em to good use, I tried tellin' you before! But it looks to me like I can use 'em for your "usefulness scale."
[ Whatever the heck that means! But having these muscles is useful for carrying Hiyori off to bed; what other person would, to begin with?
Even with them dancing around, speaking in euphemisms rather from outrightly saying what they want to say, he thinks he's following. ... not as if he'd be willing to say outloud loud just what he wants. They must be on the same page, wanting the same thing, but it's a big step. (Unlikely, he's realised right this second, it could hit him later.)
He glances up, his gaze drawn to Hiyori's open arms, waiting for him. It's a strange shift, from staunchly refusing his hugs to now craving them, though Jun's yet to fully understand why. The beckoning hardly bothers him, only envoking memories of their week spent together. Without a word, he steps forward, being enveloped in Hiyori's embrace, resting his head against him, and allowing a smile to spread across his face. ]
.. you're warm, Ohii-san. It's really like bein' basked in sunlight.
[ He murmurs softly, his hands caressing Hiyori's back, pulling him into a tighter embrace. ]
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But, you know, he does want more than that. If all he wanted from Jun was his body like a certain SOMEONE here then things wouldn't be so fraught. They'd collect each other's cards and move on with their lives. But the spoiled Hiyori Tomoe is much too greedy for that, and he decided long ago that he wants everything from Jun: Jun's loyalty and Jun's voice, Jun's body and future and heart. And of course, his love. Hiyori got all that and more, it seems, which might just make him the luckiest person in this casino.
He feels Jun walk into his waiting arms, tuck his head next to his. It's solid and warm, a sweet moment of intimacy and comfort in a place that's trying to deny them both those things. "When you feel anxious, there's nothing like letting someone hold you tight while you listen to the sound of their heartbeat," he'd said to Jun once. And it must have been true, since all his anxieties feel very far away at the moment. It's dangerous to let one's guard down in this place, but...
With Jun, it should be alright.
He wraps his arms loosely around Jun's shoulders and laughs at Jun's words, soft and pleased.]
Mm, yep. That's exactly what my love feels like ♪
[Butterflies form in his stomach. Unlike his usual "Work hard if you want to earn my love" comments, this is a more serious usage of the L-word. But it felt right to say it.]
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There are plenty of reasons why this could have ended with them collecting their cards and moving on. But, as expected, Jun would never want things to end there. Never wanting a single thing from Hiyori, only to stay by his side. If their passion for one another ended with the first time, the "Springtime" game, then it wasn't meant to be. Part of Jun did think he was delusional after the game ended, wondering if he imagined it all or if he was imagining just how much closer they'd gotten. The maze changed his mind about their feelings for one another, realising they weren't fleeting but real.
He keeps his head nestled against Hiyori's, ready for their heartbeats to become one. Here he can feel the rise and fall of Hiyori's chest, and the reminder of when Hiyori had said those words sinks in. How can they not be true? Any previous worry has long vanished, being replaced by an ever-comforting warmth. And with the sound of Hiyori's laugh, it's as if the sun itself is shining brighter, casting away any dark, lingering shadows.
Love, words spoken numerous of times before. In fact, there are plenty of times where he's teased Jun and plenty of times where he hasn't. But the seriousness sinks in, heart strumming loudly as if it might jump out, the pattering of Hiyori's loud against his ears. As it turns out, Hiyori's love has been the one thing holding him together from the moment they crossed paths up until now.
So this is Ohii-san's love. The warmth he's felt all this time. ]
Actually, the more I think 'bout your love, the more it makes sense. And it makes me wanna feel Ohii-san's love forever ♪
[ He wants it—to accept the love offered to him and return the same tenfold. ]
Who'd have thought your love was the one thing keeping me warm? Even now, I'm hoping you'll feel it, too. My "love"!
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The warm feeling that's come over him now. The emotion that's gripped his heart these past two years. The thing that's overwhelmed him to the point of hugging his pillow alone in his room. That's the word for it.
He's been thinking about "love" more often recently. Love is what's missing from this place, he told Leo. "There's no one better at giving or receiving love," he told someone else here. He's been turning over the lyrics to his second solo in his free time, something he was working on at home that got put on the backburner so they could practice for SS. That song is about love, of course. The warm and all-accepting love he means to shower his fans with. But his love isn't just reserved for them, for Eden or his family.
It makes his stomach squirm a little, putting himself out there like that. But at this point he doesn't fear rejection. And sure enough, that's not at all what Jun gives him. He's silent for a moment, just taking in his partner's wonderful words, his breath stuck somewhere in his throat.]
Mm...
[But he finds his voice eventually. Still hugging Jun back, he confirms,]
I can feel it.
[Because he really can. It makes his voice unsteady and his knees weak, but he can; the boy he picked up like a stray dog two years ago really did come to love him. How miraculous is that?]
And since forever is what we promised, that's exactly what I'll give you.
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When Rinne-senpai returned, he began clearly expressing his feelings for Hiyori at the table. Over time, Jun's come to accept that his feelings for Hiyori were indeed love, which he now intends to embrace. And when he confided in Topaz about his feelings, she helped him realise this environment wasn't the source of them. And they'd always been there—something Jun knew from the beginning. He began talking about feelings with Topaz, who helped him understand that this place wasn't making him feel that way.
While vulnerability hardly comes easily, he can be vulnerable with Hiyori, knowing he will be accepted and loved for all his feelings and more. ]
You can? That's.. that's good, Ohii-san.
[ Despite his deep love for Hiyori, his fear of rejection held him back from confessing his feelings—until now. Love can be a daunting and all-consuming feeling, making him hyper-aware of Hiyori's actions. Yet, after nearly three years, he knows him well and remains unfazed by his partners behaviour, even when there are reasons he should be.
But Hiyori can feel his love, and that's all that matters. ]
And that's what I'm giving you too, Ohii-san. Not just the promise, but my heart and love forever.
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Yep! ♪
[And then he reaches for one of Jun's arms, wrapping a hand around his wrist and guiding Jun's hand over to the center of his chest. Aiming to place it right over his heart.]
Right here, I can feel it.
[It wasn't a guarantee. That Jun would come to love him, that is. Or that it'd be the same kind of love that Hiyori felt. That's why he's so overcome. Jun went above and beyond for him, of course. But was that out of love, or was it because that's what Hiyori demanded of him? Was it love or was it "gratitude" fueling Jun's tenderness towards him? Where does one even draw the line between those two emotions?
He used to think Nagisa didn't love him. That he was more like an overgrown duckling who'd imprinted on the first person to teach him things, who'd showed what it meant to live. In many ways, his relationship with Jun was similar. But he knows better now. The truth is that he's surrounded by love. And he's incredibly, unbelievably happy. He couldn't possibly be happier!
At least not until Jun promises him his heart and his love forever, and then he somehow finds a way.]
Oh, really?
[Surprise flickers across his face before he breaks into an even bigger, even more beautiful, impossibly-brighter smile. There's only one thing he can say.]
Then I won't ever let you go! ♪
[It's a promise!
And a threat.]and they don't even know it
From feeling so unsure to accepting the love given, listening to Hiyori's confident tone helps, realising it would be illogical to reject his love. But love can be intimidating, as it can easily be mistaken and confused for other emotions such as gratitude. Another important reason for Jun to have utter confidence in his love, especially when Hiyori already had his heart long before today.
His heart beats even faster, if possible, but he feels it. ]
Mhm, I'm really happy you can feel it.
[ Tone soft, taking a deep breath, Jun half curls his fingers against the hand right on his heart. Having Hiyori here with him feels comforting, the same way he's always felt, the same way he'll always feel.
Feeling this way is easy, he realises when the surprise flickering across Ohii-san's face breaks into an even bigger, brighter smile. A smile so beautiful has Jun catching his breath, a short tinkle of laughter following. ]
I could say the same thing, y'know? 'Cause now I've got you, I'm not boutta give you up for anybody or anything ♪
[ Also a promise
and a threat, knowing this isn't an ideal place for their love to blossom. But Jun couldn't care less, he's going to defy the House every step of the way, especially now his feelings are returned. ]Call it intuition, if ya want, but I've got a real good feeling 'bout us.
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Either way, his big, beaming smile is going nowhere. Not when Jun says he won't give him up for anyone; he's overjoyed to hear it, rather. These days, he isn't riddled with anxiety that Jun will choose someone else. Maybe a month or two ago, but not now, after Jun held his hand in a flower maze and called him beautiful. Not after he said that thing on the Network about taking a "shot" with someone who was most definitely him. And certainly not after hearing him talk about his "love." He'll trust in Jun's words, in the warmth of Jun's hand, in the way Jun looks at him—all of it. All those wonderful things are just for him to enjoy.
But, you know, despite trusting his partner, it's still nice to hear Jun won't be "giving him up" for any boys who called him cute on his profile or girls who think they're game characters!]
Good.
[A simple response, but with plenty of conviction behind it.]
Because I want you to hold on tight without ever letting go.
[He squeezes Jun's hand. This isn't the ideal environment for love, it's true. But neither was Reimei Academy, or a unit built with nothing but profitability in mind. They can handle it here. He believes in their ability to make something wonderful bloom in even the dreariest of circumstances.]
... I'm sure this place would test a lot of people. But I have absolute faith that Jun-kun will stay the same person I find so lovable. The one I chose as my partner ♪
[It's not quite "the person I fell in love with," but it's a start.]
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Confessing his feelings, despite the risks, has lifted a weight off his shoulders, as he no longer worries about rejection or hiding how he truly feels. Gradually opening his heart to Hiyori seemed easier than he expected, without Jun ever fully realising. There was something special about Hiyori that had the unique ability to turn him into a lovesick fool—but despite the challenges posed by their careers and current environment, reaching this pivotal moment seemed effortless. Their bond had never been stronger.
Honestly, he'd probably feel a little embarrassed if he ever found out Hiyori knew what he'd written on the post, but that self-disclosure was a key factor in the decision to confess his feelings. So why not allow them to find happiness together? He hopes Hiyori can trust him and his words because they will never be broken. ]
Don't worry, Ohii-san, I don't ever plan on letting go.
[ A simple response has him smiling, knowing their bond is unbreakable. Although neither place back home provided an ideal environment, there is a positive feeling between them. Wishing he had been more forthright about his feelings earlier, but dwelling on what could have been will not change anything. It feels good to have those words reiterated; knowing they can work through this, and things will unfold as they had hoped, perhaps even exceeding their expectations.
He breathes in, affectionately rubbing his nose against Hiyori's. ]
That's precisely why I've got a good feeling 'bout us. So I'm gonna make sure no one comes in and thinks they can ruin what we've got! It's like you said, I've got faith Ohii-san's gonna stay the same, too. And if you don't, I'll drag ya back down to reality. Got it?
[ It's affectionate, but a promise. ]
I'm happy you chose me, 'cause now we're here ♪
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If he gets the urge to reread a conversation, though, it's going to be this one from last month. The one where Jun first said all sorts of wonderful things to him, from "My mind races with all the things I wanna do by your side" to "My heart is just filled with you." The one where he said that his words during SS weren't just about singing. The one where he promised to stay by him forever, just as he's promising him again now.
All of that helped prepare him for him Jun's in-person confession, making sure it didn't reduce him to a blushing mess (that would've been embarrassing). But it still feels almost unreal to have Jun nuzzling him sort of like a cat and promising not to let go. It makes his heart vibrate with affection.
But it also soothes his anxieties. Especially what Jun says at the end. He spends much of his time worried about Jun, but he's also been worried about the impact this place might have on him. What if when he leaves, he can't go back to being "the idol called Hiyori Tomoe"? What if he's become too jaded, too cynical, too dirty? What if his shine is gone and he's no longer the dazzling existence his fans love? These worries would be haunting him a lot more if Jun wasn't there, but thanks to his partner's presence, they're barely present most of the time.
Jun keeps him grounded. He knows that. And he'll just have to keep doing the same for Jun.]
Mm.
[He hums softly, leaning his nose against Jun's.]
I'm glad you can say that, despite everything that's happened. ... I don't like that Jun-kun got taken and put in a place like this, but I'm glad to have you here with me.
[A pause, and then he continues:]
After we got here, me and Leo-kun had a conversation about staying "ourselves" in this place. He pointed out that some of the longer-term guests seem like they've been brainwashed. And he said that if he ever loses interest in composing, that'll be a sign he's no longer himself.
[He keeps Jun's hand in a squeeze. It's sort of a depressing topic, but he figures it's relevant.]
I guess in my case, it'd be something like "if I'm not looking out for Jun-kun, or I stop wanting Jun-kun as my partner, then that's a sign I'm no longer myself." That's how important an existence you've become to me. But I do have faith those things won't ever happen. The House can throw all manner of distractions at us, but they can't take away our feelings for each other.
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Perhaps it is a good thing Jun hardly remembers the other thing he was posting about (or with) during that Network post.The good news is that he has been re-reading those comments repeatedly, especially the last one Hiyori wrote before disappearing. (Only to see him later in the evening for dinner, where something was knowing, something real between them.) Jun meant every word in those messages; not only was he trying to gauge Hiyori's potential reaction, but he also thought it helped him realise their feelings might be mutual. Even if the scary thought about an in-person confession lingered, the depths of his feelings were getting too much, as if threatening to consume him entirely, leaving him desperate to convey them at last.
Despite the risks, his love for Hiyori is unwavering. Even if this situation were to ruin them both, even if their secrets were discovered upon their return, Jun would continue loving Hiyori no matter the consequences. Nothing could ever stop his feelings; an intense, overwhelming love between them.
But there is a sense of relief in hearing those words come from his partner. Brainwashing isn't quite the most happy of topics, though there is an understanding there. In complete agreement, Jun nods and responds by lightly kissing Hiyori's lips. He can't quite help himself, being this close, nuzzling again as the familiar warmth lingers.
Hiyori has also become a significant figure in his life. Someone important—the most important person—more than he's willing to admit. ]
Well, the same applies to me! If I quit wanting to do things for you or start saying anything 'bout not wanting to stick by your side, you'll know something's wrong. And I'd want ya to break me outta it, even if you've gotta be violent 'bout it! You've become the sorta person who I'll always wanna be 'round, 'cause I'm always thinking 'bout you.
[ The same as he told Hiyori through texts—an embarrassing amount. ]
And I'm with you, Ohii-san, no matter what goes on with this place. We just gotta remember we've got one another's backs! Plus, they'll never be able to take away our feelings for one another, 'cause we won't let 'em ♪
[ But it is rather a good thing none of those things are real. ]
It's scary, Ohii-san. And I gotta say I'm pretty scared 'bout relationships and all the stuff that'll come with being in one, 'cause I dunno what I'm doing or where we'll go. But it feels right, to be with you! And I know we'll figure it out together, won't we?
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... not that Hiyori feels any such urges right now, least of all towards his loving partner. The talk of brainwashing really is a mood killer, but Jun responds with a kiss anyway, short yet sweet enough to make his head go fuzzy. If it weren't already fuzzy from all of Jun's sweet words, that is.
It's not so fuzzy he's incapable of teasing, though.]
... mm, got it!
[He hums cheerfully, forehead still leaning against Jun's, his smile turned sly.]
If I ask Jun-kun to do something, but he says it's a pain or he doesn't want to, then that's a sign his brain isn't working! So, I'll flick him upside the forehead! ♪ Or gently thwap the back of his head. Whichever~ ♪
[Hopefully that bit of silliness will dissolve some of the heaviness brought on by the topic change.
He thinks about moving Jun's hand away from his chest, guiding it back down to his side so they can hold hands without it being quite so serious. Then Jun says that thing about being scared, and instead he lets it stay resting over his heart. Jun probably can't feel the way it reacts to his use of the word "relationship," but Hiyori sure can, his chest constricting as though Jun reached directly inside him, closed a hand around his heart and squeezed.]
Yep~. It feels completely right. For me to be Jun-kun's first, that is.
[First kiss that he knows of, first time, first relationship. First "partner." He's greedy and selfish enough that he's thrilled to claim all of Jun-kun's firsts. Though he also adds,]
And for you to be my first.
[Because that's true, too. He already admitted it when he said he'd never been on a "journey" like this before. It figures that Jun, whom he'd already been treating as a "partner" for more than just singing, would be the one he commits to. Jun, whom he's so determined to tether to his side. Jun, whom he thought was "beautiful" and felt captivated by from the very start, before Jun had done anything for him and before they'd even said a word to each other.
Hiyori's not ready to admit that yet. He feels readier now than he would have at home, but he'd rather keep that under wraps for a little while. It's still somehow embarrassing, admitting how long Jun's had his heart. But it's that knowledge—the knowledge that Jun can steal his heart just with his dazzling existence—that Hiyori feels compelled to tell him not to worry, and he tries to tie that back to what he said before about the resort.]
So, because we make perfect sense together, I wouldn't fret too much. As you said, we'll figure it out. All Jun-kun really needs to do is stay true to himself. And then we'll go back together to the place where we belong ♪
... It's not just for Nagisa-kun, Ibara, and our fans' sakes that we get back. It's for our own sake, too. I'm happy here when I'm with Jun-kun, but I'm sure we can be even happier at home.
[He laces their fingers together tight and smiles, staring right into Jun's eyes as he says his last piece.]
Achieving your dream alongside the one you love sounds like something from a manga, doesn't it? I struggle to think of anything more romantic than that... ♪
[Hopefully their fans will see it his way. Not anytime soon, but some day in the distant future.]
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He half-laughs, far too happy about being close to complain. But maybe… ]
Well, it’s more like if I don’t end up doing those things. ‘Cause I still complain but do ‘em!
[ Truthfully, he hardly minds running errands, stopping whatever he’s doing or anything else for Ohii-san’s whimsical sake. If Jun truly had issues, he’d have plenty of reasons to deny any request’s given.
But as is, he doesn’t.
And as this stands, Jun hastily confirms how afraid relationships are for him. As someone afraid of losing someone special, the special someone being Ohii-san, there is a fair chance this may not work out. Deep inside his psyche, the biggest fear would be losing Hiyori over something as silly as their current situation. There always will be a fear of losing someone you love, and that would be the worst, most soul crushing fear.
But having the reassurance, the words telling him otherwise will make the fear subside. It does as much when Hiyori begins speaking, telling him all the wonderful things about being one another’s firsts. (Or Jun, it’s really none of his business who Hiyori has been with before him.) ]
Mhm, I’m real glad all my “firsts” was with someone I love.
[ His cheeks burn admitting to it, and he hasn’t a chance to stop himself before the words come out. But meaning those words will never stop their meaning. Jun loves him, he knows this for certain. There is no point of him denying how he feels when being loved back feels like home.
It makes perfect sense for them to be together, with the happiness of them being together outweighing the rest. He wishes he could feel Hiyori’s rapid heart beats, the same as his own heart beats faster with each word. ]
We do make perfect sense together, so I’ll do my best and we’ll figure out how it’s gonna go. I promise I’m always gonna stay true to myself, I’ll never lose sight of us.
Yep, we’ll be even stronger back home, not worrying ‘bout what’s going on day to day. I’m also happy being here with Ohii-san, but we’ve got this shared goal of making it home.
[ He smiles, fondly, allowing his partner to lace their hands together. He stares back, rubbing circles across his palm and nodding. But he can’t help tease, ]
Have ya been reading some sorta shoujo manga, Ohii-san~? But it sorta does, except this is our life, so achieving the same dream sounds pretty good to me. ‘Specially when you’re the only person who can make me feel loved.
[ Yes, he couldn’t think of anything more romantic. ]
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[Yep. He's still teasing. He doesn't actually mind if Jun complains sometimes. It's part of their back-and-forth!
But the teasing ends fast, because that "all my firsts were with someone I love" line completely decimates him.
He blushes harder, now. A fierce, luminescent blush. They've said the word "love" a few times now, but somehow that direct phrasing just does him in. Jun-kun said "someone I love." He has someone he loves and that "someone" is him.]
M... Mm.
[He struggles to even hum in response. His heartbeat is so frenzied that he's sure Jun must be able to feel it thundering.]
I still remember what Jun-kun said before. About wanting it to be with someone he cares about "deeply." So, I'm glad I could be Jun-kun's...
[He trails off. His voice is on the verge of cracking; this is so embarrassing. But maybe it's fine to get a little emotional. Isn't it? His secret love was returned. His secret fears never came to fruition. His worries that Jun would fall prey to the resort's corrupting influence, or he'd become jaded and cold, or he'd get hurt or used up by someone, or he'd fall in love with someone else here and choose that person over Eden and over him... None of that ever happened. None of that ever will happened. Jun is his.
And he's the one Jun loves.
Forget being on the verge of cracking. By the time Jun reaches the end, saying he's the only person who's made him feel loved, he's fully cracked. He might tear up if this goes on! Talk about embarrassing!]
... sorry, but I need to hug you tight for a bit.
[That's all the warning Jun gets before Hiyori flings both arms around his middle and squeezes hard, burying his face next to Jun's. He doesn't have a pillow to hug, but that's okay. Jun-kun's here, so he'll hug Jun-kun!
Being a replacement pillow is a job for his lover, after all.]
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time for a wrap I think!